I want your opinions; or rather need.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
I want your opinions; or rather need.
43
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 2:52pm

One of my lovers asked me how he could access iVillage. It's a large site, so if left to his own devices he might never stumble across things that I posted. I know I don't mind him seeing what I've posted, I may even want him to see it. But for some reason I am hesitant of just straight forwardly directing him to the sites I frequent.

What do you guys think? Would you want to read all about your lover, or would you like to learn about him or her on your own gradually? Will it take the fun out of a new relationship to have all the cards laid on the table up front? Or does it get the business out of the way and make way for the fun times?

Anyone, have an opinion?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 7:28am

Thank you Jackson! You hit upon the issue that makes my relationship with him unique. Well, maybe not unique, but unconventional.

We met through an adult friends site and sex was the foundation. We're building a friendship now. One of the key things I want in this special friendship is for us to express our sexual thoughts without filtering or censoring them.

I want us to unleash every repressed thought we ever had and reach new heights.

Now, he is one thing, I don't want my mom or some other people seeing the contents here. But my lovers, yes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 7:58am

>> I want us to unleash every repressed thought we ever had and reach new heights. <<

That's all well and good, but mark my words: sooner of later you will post something that he will either find shocking ("I want to lay on the bed while 15 men masturbate and come all over my body") or totally out of tune with his belief system ("Of course I believe in the right to free abortion").

In even the best relationships, there are some things that couples are better off not knowing about each other. :)

Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 8:00am
so, when do we get to meet this mystery man?


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 8:14am

15, 15 men? No way, it would just be too crowded.

I know you're right, but I want to push the envelope with this relationship. That is what this affair is all about. And unlike traditional relationships there is less emotion involve (although I need to admit there is much more than I thought there would be).

I don't mind if I lose him to shock, but I don't want to cause him hurt feelings. For example if I told you guys ahead of time that I was seeing him to try light bondage, and then it didn't work out. I come back here and the inquiring minds ask for details. I write the details and his feelings get hurt. (Do you like how it not working out became his fault and not mine?)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 8:18am
I can lead him here, but can't promise he'll speak. In the few months that I've known him he has loosened up. Our discussions may shock him at first, but I think he'd jump in.
Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 8:20am
well, good, we could always use a guy around who likes to have fun!


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:46am
It could be quite fun, actually. Only the 2 of you will know who the other is...you could post ideas or desires and the other person will know they are directed at them. This could also help with any sexual communication issues (not saying you have any) but say he wants to try anal and say you are like ewwwww! He posts a question, a few people respond...you get to see different sides of the idea and decide at your own pace yes or no. Gosh...I gave myself a great idea! LOL I think I will get DH to sign up here and we can play together...leaving lil innuendos, ideas, and messages to one another. AH sex is great!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:49am

I honestly think that if I was you I wouldn't have anything to worry about. IMHO.


No kidding about the college - we ALREADY started college funds for both kids! We'll encourage them to stay in-state, LOL!


They are doing well, things are finally settling down. Our youngest had her first birthday on Friday, and she's taken off a lot in the last week. Not walking yet, but she's close. Thanks for asking!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:26am
There was an unmarried/engaged couple that used to post here (meaning iVillage) a long time back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 11:30am
Oh my, how fast that year flew! Too fast. I'm glad all is well.