If my wife can do it.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
If my wife can do it.....
15
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 4:17pm

Hi everyone. I've posted here a few times but I'd like to formally introduce myself. I'll try and keep it short! I'm mid-30s, married, two kids, live in the great northwest where we've been hit by floods, snow, ice, and now wind. We're expecting locusts next week!

I'm happily married, but the sex life is a bit lacking at times. I come here because I find it enjoyable to hear y'all discussing various aspects of sex. I used to post occasionally on a board under women.com before it became ivillage. That board kind of ended. I perused a number of message boards here and y'all seemed like a cool community so I decided I'd like to join you. Will you adopt me?? I promise I'll sit quietly at the end of the bed until you're ready to play, then I'll join you in bed to satisfy all your desires and needs!

One last disclaimer....IMO this board is of, by, and for WOMEN! As a man, I feel like a bit of a trespasser, but I see you are all willing to include men in your discussions and ocasionally I hope I can give you a man's perspective on things. In short, thanks for letting us men join in! (Also, my involvement in the board will vary so don't be surprised if I disappear for weeks at a time. Don't take it personally, I just get busy sometimes!)

Now, on to my post. My wife is very conservative when it comes to sex. One of her "NO WAY I'M DOIN' That" was anal sex. She knew I was curious for years (we've been married over 12 years) but she made it clear that anals sex was NEVER going to happen. She allowed me to start experimenting about a years ago (started with a small vibe while I gave her oral). We did full on anal sex for the first time last Valentine's Day ( we switched to anal after multiple Os from vaginal - she was also wearing sexy garters and the way garters frame women's butts while doing anals sex - HOT HOT HOT!!) and we've done it 3 or 4 times since. She went from "NO WAY", to "It hurts a bit, but I don't mind" to "I don't mind" and now I think she almost likes it but I doubt she would admit it.

She's on her period now and last night I was hornier than you could believe (business trip, followed by her getting sick, followed by period = no sex for almost a month!!). So she rolled on her side, pulled me behind her and let me have at it while I reached around to stimulate her. GOOD TIME!!

So today's lesson: for those of you that are interested in anal but have a spouse that says, "NO WAY!!" Don't give up! If my wife can do it your spouse can too! Or, those of you that have a spouse that wants to try anal and you don't want to, don't rule it out! You may change your mind and once you try it you might actually like it....

Thanks for letting me join in and Happy Holidays!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 4:30pm
Not the case for me. If he EVER utters such a request again, he's OUT. He realized this is a true boundry, the hard way of course, and that I'd rather be divorced and celibate (frankly I'd rather be dead to be TOTALLY HONEST!) than to have such evil and disregard imposed on me! I've been married to the same DH for 16 1/2 years now and it's still not ever going to happen. Some may appreciate your encouragement, but a word to the wise, be carefull about challenging someones boundries as it may just land you in the dog house or better yet out of the house---for good!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 5:21pm

Of course, we'll adopt you.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:44pm
Hi Devoted and welcome to the boards, There are lots of guys that post on these boards and lots that lurk as well, so your certainly not in the minority here at all. I think its awesome that you and your wife have been able to explore new boundaries. Communication is the key. Put it to you this way, if she didnt want you to even go there, you would know it. So enjoy it all!!

lust-1.jpg image by Case_8290

 

Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 9:34am
of course you are welcome!


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 9:58am

Welcome to the board!!! The adoption papers have been turned in and it's official -- YOU are ours to keep!!!!LOL


It's great to hear about you and your wife!!!

 

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 11:42am

Welcome DH!
You and I have quite a bit in common:
I too feel priviledged to be welcome on a board intended for women, and always treat my presence here with respect for the members here.
I too find the conversations here fun, stimulating and very educational.
And...I too have a wife that is a "NO WAY" person regarding anal sex coupled with a fairly intense desire and attraction on my end for her derrier!

I had nearly given up all hope, even to have a fairly sexual relationship, until I started having serious, and sometimes hard, face-to-face discussions with her on it. Even then she said she is game to step it up with me, but there is still something that is a 'no go'. Well the last few months I have witnessed a bit of a transition. She is allowing anal play - mostly rimming and finger play. And very recently she confessed while she had her bottom nestled on my face and stimulating herself with a vibe that she "liked this very much". Well that was immediately followed by an intense O with my finger twirling inside back there. So lately I have been letting my 'hope' return. I hope she discovers the courage and willingness to explore just a little further this newly found pleasure in finding ecstacy in more than one place! Thanks for sharing that and giving this longtime buttman a little more hope for the future....and congrats on your acheivements!!!

btw...it is fantastic to be 'adopted' by this group of people! Enjoy it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 1:50pm
Yes open communication within a marriage is vital and necessary regardless of the subject matter and I incourage honest and open discussion between the two of us all of the time.
However, when it's a boundry issue that has been previously beat to death in the past and there is absolutely no hope given that such ( ie, AS ) will ever take place, then any mention of or physical attempts to gain access will be interpreted as a willfull and hostile act of aggression and will be met with forcefull opposition. I will not tolerate or condone having to defend my boundries. My DH is more than aware that this is a deal breaker for me and has long since resolved himself to a married sexual life without anal sex. Some women don't mind if you examine, question, challenge, etc. their boundries but I'm not going to defend mine but once and that's all there is to it. No one but DH has to agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 3:36pm

Yep, sounds like we do have a lot in common. The nice thing about her trying anal is that I didn't have to push her at all. We were playing a bit and she was rather horny. I was using a vibrator in that area (not penetrating) and it seemed like she was pushing against the vibe as if she wanted it inside her. So I pushed back a bit and after a few minutes it was inside. She had a couple really powerful Os like this (always helps to have that positive association, eh?).

The next day I asked her if she enjoyed that or if she just didn't bother telling me to stop. She said she liked it and she was really surprised and wouldn't mind doing some more. A couple of times later she mentioned the magic words and told me I could do it back there.....

So I told her she fulfilled one of my life long fantasies. She asked about the other and I told her it was her giving me oral and letting me finish in her mouth. Her response...."I don't think I'm ready for that......YET!!"

Reminded me of the line at the end of dumb and dumber:

Jim Carrey "So what do you think the chances are of a girl like you falling for a man like me?"

Holly What's-Her-Face: "I'd say about one in a million."

Jim Carrey - thoughtful pause....."SO THERE'S A CHANCE!!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 4:38pm
PERFECT! LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 12-20-2006 - 7:20pm

Exactly what are you disagreeing with me about?

 

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