If your penis had an owner's manual ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
If your penis had an owner's manual ...
22
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 12:21pm

what would it say?


Ladies, if you could write the owner's manual for a penis, what would you say?


We'll talk about vaginas later.


 

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Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 1:37pm

well, I'll leave the contents of the book to the boys....but here's the cover:


CAUTION
CONTENTS MAY BE UNDER PRESSURE


I made it myself!



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 3:42pm
The penis is not like a cactus. It does require daily care..lol..The more you use it , the better it works.
Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 3:57pm
thank god the penis is not like a cactus!


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 5:15pm
Frank and mature discussions with other adults means that going into minute detail isn't really necessary. While the topics are risque, remember to keep the details more PG-13 (as stated in the header) - Please remember this as you write your manual!

Corrine, Sr Community Moderator
iVillage Love & Sex


iVillage

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 5:22pm
"For best results, keep in a warm, wet place."
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 10:09am
I apologize for my post. It was meant to be humours. I guess it wasnt taken that way.

 


 


 


 


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 10:26am

Care and Feeding:

Handle gently
Occasionally spits
Regular "exercise" is a must.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 11:04am

Use only high-quality, manufacturer-recommended lubricants when servicing your penis.

Abuse, neglect or improper maintenance of your penis may void your warranty.

Careless or incorrect use of your penis may result in child support payments, laughter, humiliation, incarceration, severe injury, death, and/or marriage.

If your penis came equipped with the turtleneck attachment, please refer to special instructions in chapter 5.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 12:00pm
If your penis will not be used for more than one week, drain all fluids before storing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 6:07pm

let's see...

best when stored in warm places for 2 minutes at a time.

do not let near children with anything long and pokeful.

do not assume that a woman is unattractive if it doesn't rise, seek help immediately.

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