Impotence = divorce??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Impotence = divorce??
22
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 3:53am

Hi
I would be interested in knowing if women would seperate from their partners if they became impotent. Assume that it was incurable impotence that didnt respond to medication. The socially acceptable response would be that theres more to a relationship than sex, but I would like to know what females on the board really feel.

Im a guy, but if I were female, and in a marriage, I wouldnt leave him, but if he was my BF, I would. Thats just me.

Sammy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Wed, 05-31-2006 - 10:51pm

It wasn't so much he couldn't stay up long, it was to do the fact that he had a problem with premature ejaculation.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2006
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 12:24am

Really good question...

I am in a situation right now where my husband won't have sex with me because he says his back injury prevents him from doing anything like that...so right now it's almost the same as living with someone who's impotent, and I wouldn't leave him.

It is really frustrating not to have sex, or feel that closeness with him. It's also hard because of my low self-esteem I instantly feel rejected...but, I know he loves me and I could never give up our love and our relationship because of sex. If he really truly was impotent, I would stay with him out of love for him and the fact that I don't think I would ever find someone like him again.

SOOO yes, it kills me to be sexually frustrated 90% of the time, but I love my husband way too much to ever walk away from him for this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 4:29am

That is a shame, but its hard to judge unless we have been in the same situation.

Have they tried alternatives?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 4:29am

Hi Redsox.

thanks for sharing. Do you think you would feel the same way if he was your bf, and not your husband?

Sammy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2005
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 7:35am
For better or worse..so no I wouldn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 1:17pm

>>Have they tried alternatives?<<

I don't know all the details but, yes I believe so. I think there's probably more to it that they aren't saying also.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2006
Thu, 06-01-2006 - 9:34pm

"thanks for sharing. Do you think you would feel the same way if he was your bf, and not your husband?"

Sammy--we were together for 5 years before we got married...and he stuck by me through some personal problems and I think that if we hadn't gotten married and this injury had still happened to him, I would've done the same to him. I really firmly believe in for better or worse, sickness and health, and I think that people in committed relationships like we were for 5 years before "making it official" can live by the same oath.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2004
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 3:58am

I know sex is very important, but I would hope my SO would not divorce me for impotence, no more than I would divorce her for getting into a car accident and being paralized from the waste down. Anyhow, this is a very interesting thread.

Sad thing is there are so many alternatives

Great vibrators, fingers, fists, tongues, oversized dildos, extra ribbed dildos, tons more sex toys.

Also, did I forget to mention state of the art "strap on" life like vacuum controlled prostetic penis attachments? Yeah, it sounds very odd, but from what I have heard, they feel real enough, and you can get any size and last as long as you like.

That being said, getting a divorce over a faulty penis with all the current alternatives is asinine if you ask me.

I have also heard of people seperating or cheating over penis size. Get a girth enhancer, a girth and length enhancer, an ultra ribbed girth enhancer, or a strap on. I think a little resourcefulness is in order when it comes to saving a marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2006
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 11:40am
I don't think I'd leave DH just because of impotence. It would have to take more than that. Like if he became emotionally distant or abusive because of the impotence, that would be a whole other thing then. Like others have said, there's so much more to sex than in and out, penis in vagina...yadda, yadda, yadda.
Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 11:43am