Is it possible?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2004
Is it possible?
14
Sun, 10-28-2012 - 12:45pm

I came across some cases that puzzle and bother me.  Hope it's not too disturbing...

I read about a woman who was raped at a knife point and later reported to the police, only the court later dismissed the case.  The rapist videotaped the whole process, and in the tape it was shown that she reached an orgasm.  What’s more is that her hands were on his bottom pulling him into herself, and her pelvic was thrusting. Some reports (I suspect it was added by those who wrote the reports) even claimed that she screamed “I’m coming.” BTW, this happened in China.

Another case was a woman being gang-raped and having multiple orgasms.  She was reportedly “not thinking clearly enough to not resist the natural temptation to pull him in during orgasm.”

I know perfectly it’s possible for rape victims to experience orgasms during rape (and it leads to worse humiliation).  But I’m not sure if what happened in these 2 cases is really true.  Will the victims do such things (i.e., pulling rapist’s bottom into herself, even screaming “I’m coming?”)?  Wouldn’t the victim feel too aversive to touch the rapist?

If that really can happen, I’m very sorry for the victims.  This DEFINITELY is not saying the victims ask for it.  Rape is a crime and should be punished severely.  I just want to understand if this is true, or maybe is just some exaggerated stories.  

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Tue, 10-30-2012 - 10:49am

yes, it's very possible and does not mean the woman in any way wanted it. she's still a victim. that said, i've often fantasized about gang rape and role played.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2012
Tue, 10-30-2012 - 1:31pm

It's a pretty well-known fact that a lot of women have rape fantasies, myself included. However, I have never been raped so I can't speak from that perspective and I have nothing but deep sympathy for such victims and disgust for the perpetrators (very contradictory but true). Still, because I reach orgasm easily and am sometimes drawn to illicit sex, I can imagine that I might very well cum, beyond my control and am not at all surprised that other women do. Grabbing and pulling a rapist inside of me? That leaves me a little stumped.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2002
Tue, 10-30-2012 - 1:50pm

I read a story one time, I don't know/ remember if it was real or if it was a fantasy, about a woman who was raped in front of her family.  the story went on to say that she went at it with the guy in fear of her family getting hurt.  I can't imagine it happening, but to be in a position where you are not getting out of it, and the fear of the guy not killing you after, if you were to act as you enjoyed it, he would be less fearfull of you reporting it.

From a male point of view, have no idea if that makes sense though

Golf

Golf

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2004
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 4:58pm
I want to make a point to everyone so I just reply my own question: I think the question that whether a rape victim, when reaching orgasm, will behave like that (i.e., pulling the rapist into herself, screaming "I'm coming") is important. If that indeed is possible, people should know that does NOT mean she consent to the sex, and the rape victims should stop blaming themselves. So, any insight is welcome and appreciated. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2004
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 5:00pm

This is a reply to Megan:

So I guess you mean her reactions--pulling the rapist into her in orgasm--is like subconscious thing?  

I think fantasy is healthy, as long as we know the boundaries.  I heard another woman in a message board says that there are 2 kinds of rapes: one is to destroy you; the other is capture you.  She says she's experienced both, and while the first kind is horrifying and the rapists deserve to be castrated, the 2nd kind is erotic.  However, I must add that doesn't mean men don't need to respect women; rape is rape, it's a crime.

When you fantasize, I believe you imagine some man/men who look hot.  And he/they are not to hurt or beat you, but just want you sexually.  I'll say that's hot too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2004
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 5:03pm

This is a reply to Mav:

I just replied to Megan: I read a woman's post on a message board: there are 2 kinds of rapes: one is to destroy you; the other is capture you. She says she's experienced both, and while the first kind is horrifying and the rapists deserve to be castrated, the 2nd kind is erotic. Like someone just want you sexually, cause he/they find you so attractive. He/they won't in million years hurt you, just want good sex. Well, but he/they have to be good-looking, right? =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2004
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 5:04pm

This is a reply to Golf:

I would imagine this kind of thing might have happened sometime somewhere. So sad for the woman. That's severe violation and the rapist(s) must be punished severely.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2012
In reply to: mav33
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 3:42pm

Hi, Chupo. I agree with that clear distinction made between an act of destruction and one of capture/eroticism. I suppose I crave the latter because I like a man to take complete control and my biggest turn-on is knowing that I've served as a means of satisfying him thoroughly and completely. As far as "good looking", that's so subjective. I know for a fact, people have questioned my choice in former BF's because they didn't necessarily seem like they were in my league, so to say. I think "attractive" is the better term. I would want to be attracted to him in some way if he was going to use my body for his pleasure. Then again, a realistic rape fantasy playing out probably wouldn't leave a lot of time and opportunity for such considerations. I imagine it would be sudden, completely unexpected, maybe a little brutal. Mine anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2004
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 6:33pm
Hi Mav, it's interesting you say that your biggest turn on is "knowing that I've served as a means of satisfying him thoroughly and completely." But how about your needs? To me, as a straight man, my biggest turn on is "knowing that I've served as a means of satisfying HER thoroughly and completely," and it's a bit strange that when my wife asks me what I want, I really don't care too much. I always say "whatever that can turn you on." Are you the same? From what you say I feel that you very much concentrate on what HE needs instead of yourself. Is that correct? So you'll date men "below your league?" That's pretty awesome in my opinion... =P
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2012
In reply to: mav33
Mon, 11-05-2012 - 9:21am

Hi, Chupo. It's so great that you're focused on pleasing your woman and I think in a lot of cases both partners do very much want to satisfy each other. But, invariably, one is always more of a giver, a pleaser, and that's the role I'm most comfortable in - not just in bed but all areas of my life. It's not a completely selfless act, in fact, maybe it's actually a little selfish because the mental and emotional satisfaction I derive from it is a huge turn-on. As far as my needs, I'm a lucky girl in that I have always, as far back as I can remember, been able to more than take care of myself ; ) And, that alone makes it so easy to get off when I'm with my SO. I am in no way orgasmically challenged, lol. And, yes, some of the men I've dated have not really been in my league physically but every one of them was amazing in their own way which attracted me in the first place. I see most of a person's beauty in their eyes and it completely trumps all other physicalities. 

Pages