Is it possible to Love or Be in Love....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Is it possible to Love or Be in Love....
18
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 10:14am

...with Two men or Women at the same time?...

This is a question that came from another posting. I have been thinking about it for a while now. Personally, I think it maybe possible to Be in Love with two men or women at the same time. Loving two men or women at the same time??....uummm...do not think so.

So, what is the difference between Being in Love and Loving someone?...Being in love is an altered state, it is romantic. You are constantly thinking about the other person, and it is difficult to be separated from him or her. Fantasies and feeling giddy are present. Decisions are difficult to make and usually are crazy. It feels wonderful!.

Love for another person, in contrast, is closer to appreciation and affection. You are able to imagine a family, life together, kids, work...something more meaningful.

Is it a Taboo to love or be in love with two men or women at the same time?.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2006
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 12:02pm

I don't think that is impossible. I mean, it probably can't be the same love for every person, but I do think you can love more than one.

Look at your best friend. You love Him or her. Personally, I love my best friend as much as I love my husband. (I've had a threesiome with her and her husband. :) FYI) Hehehe.

Just my humble opinion.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 12:07pm
Oh, I have definitely been in love with two men at the same time.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 2:42pm
I totally agree with you Lil' M!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 11:21pm
Is it taboo - nope. In my opinion, it is very possible to love more than one or two or three or however many men or women at the same time.

 

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2002
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 7:44am
I think it is very possible to love someone for different reasons but not the same reasons.
I have thought about this in the past. The way I have thought about it is related to sex or lack there of. If you are in a marriage, you love you dw/dh as I love my DW, but sex, for one reason or another is lacking. If your SO is uninterested in sex or not nearly as often as you, what is wrong with getting it ,cleanly, somewhere else. Suppose one SO was the relationship SO and one was the sexual SO? Sa you are really craving a BJ and your SO has no interest at all in giving you one ...ever. What is wrong with getting one from someone else. I understand the whole cheating discussionIs it possible to have a committed relationship with two different people but for two different reasons?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 8:55am
Well, I have kind of been in that situation before with two men and I can tell you that while you may be in love with both of them, there is invariably one that you have stronger feelings for than the other. You'll want to spend more time with that person, do more for that person....you get my point. I just don't think it's possible without someone getting hurt eventually. Of course, there will always be exceptions to this, but I think they are rare and overall one is usually favored over the other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2002
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 11:04am
Caroline,
I hope there was a little sarcasm in your email and hope you really don't feel that way. The reason I never received Oral was my DW told me in the begining, she felt she was unable to do it. I loved to go down on her and I think she felt guilty for not doing the same for me. I told her notto worry and that I loved to please her, she began to enjoy me going down on her.
After 10 years of marriage (me 41, she 42)and the encouragement from someone on this board, and because I felt more comfortable, I asked her and she readily does it on her own now for which I am very grateful. Our sexlife has improved a lot after 40 and I believe our relationship as well.
No one should ever feel less of a person because they cannot for one reason or another perform any thing they do not wish to perform. We all make sacrafices in our marriage for different reasons, that is what makes up a relationship.
Question, If you could not do that one thing, and he wanted it, would you allow him to get it from someone else?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2002
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 11:30am
Caroline. that is beautiful.
i truly believe my DW and I are heading in that direction lately.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 8:13pm

....If you could not do that one thing, and he wanted it, would you allow him to get it from someone else?

I do not think that allow would be the right word. If that "thing" was important enough to him, that it made a huge different in our relationship, I would let him know that it would be ok with me if he received it from another.

BUT, I would like to think that if it was that important to him, I would do everything possible to satisfy him. I would learn, practice or seek help in order for me to do it myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Wed, 07-05-2006 - 8:20pm

I found myself in the same situation before I married my DH. I almost destroyed what it has been a very long marriage and having the opportunity to have my two adorable boys.

I agree...I nearly tore me apart..

By the way, many years later, my DH told me that he knew exactly what was going on back then.

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