It's only tuesday =(
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It's only tuesday =(
| Tue, 08-22-2006 - 6:54pm |
I'm so sad =(
Weekly routines suck. and they are NOT for me! meh....
someone tell a good story and cheer me up! preeeety please with a cherry on top!
Weekly routines suck. and they are NOT for me! meh....
someone tell a good story and cheer me up! preeeety please with a cherry on top!

Once upon a time, there was a young man with a very peculiar problem. You see, this unfortunate fellow had a masculine organ that was all of 25 inches long, and though he was very handsome and quite well off, every time he seemed on the verge of bedding some lovely lass, the poor woman would shudder in shock and awe at the very sight of his massive member and run away screaming. One day, driven nearly to distraction by his woes, and no longer able to bear his loneliness, not to mention the embarrassing circumstance of his increasingly insistent turgidity, the young man lashed his unwieldy mast to his waist as best he could, and concealed beneath a heavy cloak, made off, as quickly as his condition would allow, to see his doctor. "Oh, Doctor!" he cried, utterly despondent. "Surely you can help me! Surely you can diminish this monstrosity that brings me such sorrow!" But the learned man of medicine was clearly at a loss. He scratched his head, and rubbed his chin, then scratched his head again. He "hmmmm'd" and he "uh'd" Finally, he said, "Medically, son, there is nothing I can do. However, and I hesitate to mention it, but your situation is surely dire, I do happen to know a witch who may be able to help you." And the doctor told the young man where to find the witch.
So the young man went straight away to find the witch, and when he found her, outside her hovel in the forest, he wasted no time, but came right out with his dilemma. "Witch," he said, "my manly appendage is 25 inches long and I can persuade no maiden to share my bed. You are my last hope; I beg thee, could you, would you, shorten it for me?" The witch gave a low cackle and a little snort. "Many a man has come to me in search of something stouter, but ne'er before has any come seeking to give back a hair's breadth of what his maker gave him. Let me see this great limb you'd have me prune."
And so the young man parted his cloak and uncinched the rope that bound his massive beam, and the witch leapt back as it sprang free, lest it give her noggin a resounding thwack. Cackling louder now, the witch cast an appraising eye on the young man's endowment, and. licking her lips, said, "I say, young fellow, that's quite a burden you carry around. But perhaps you'd do better to find the woman that's fit to fit that stallion's shillelagh of yours, rather than turn your pole into a pestle for some silly girl."
And with that the slatternly witch, with lewd intent, reached for the swelling bow that swayed before her. But the young man recoiled from her advances. "Keep your hands to yourself, you shriveled crone! Will you help me or not?"
The witch smirked. "Very well, my dear, very well. I think I have a solution to your problem. Follow yon sun into the forest until you come to a pond. At this pond, you will find a frog sitting on a log. You must ask this frog, "Will you marry me?" Each time the frog declines your proposal, your jolly joist will be five inches shorter." The young man's face lit up and he dashed off into the forest.
Reaching the pond, the young man found the frog just as the witch had said he would. Dispensing with pleasantries, he called out to the frog, "Will you marry me?" The frog regarded him dismissively and replied, "Nooooo." The young man looked down and discovered, to his amazement, that his one-eyed serpent, though still quite stiff, was indeed 5 inches shorter. "Oh, joy" he cried, "my prayers are answered. But it could stand to be shorter still, I think." And so he asked the frog again, "Dear frog, will you marry me?" And the frog rolled his eyes, clearly quite peeved, and shouted "No!" The young man looked down again, and, sure enough, another five inches of man meat had vanished.
The man laughed. "Wonderful," he sighed. "But it's still a bit much for a young maiden to receive in her chamber, I'd say. Just a bit less should be just enough." And so, one more time, he said to the frog, "Oh my most gracious friend Frog, will you marry me?"
And the frog bunched itself up in a huff, and glaring at the young man, screamed, "How many times do I have to tell you? NO! . . . NO! . . . and for the last time . . . NO!"
The End.
aww you made tuesday better thank you Argy! =D
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!
Thanks Argy!
"Seduce my mind and you can have my body.