Just Curious...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Just Curious...
11
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 6:58am

This question came up on another board, and it got me thinking, so I decided to throw it out here...why is it men (usually!) have no problem with watching their wife/girlfriend with another woman, but it is SUCH a taboo (or arouses such jealousy) when the situation is reversed and the threesome becomes their wife/girlfriend, themselves, and another MAN?

Is is the old homophobe thing? Is it fear of coming up "short"? (No pun intended!)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 1:57am

You aren't going to find a consensus answer to your question, all you can do is find out why YOUR situation is the way it is. There are too many different reasons people may find something erotic, there are too many ways we can be hurt and bring baggage from our past to a current relationship.

For every man who doesnt want to have a male friend join him and his lady in a threesome, theres a man who thinks its incredibly sexy to bring a partner to bed to please his wife, and theres ANOTHER man who actually doesnt even want to participate, but just WATCH his wife with another man. And each of those men would have a variety of reasons for how they feel.

Some men are insecure, some jealous, some afraid they will seem gay if they are in any kind of sexual situation with another man, and God forbid they accidentally touch each other, etc etc. And there is the complete opposite. There are men who are completely heterosexual( attracted to women , not men), but in a threesome with a woman not only have no fear of touching each other, but actually realise you can be sexual with anyone you want without it changing your actual orientation. Who you find attractive is a function of your reflex/animal brain, but who you chose to share intimacy with is a decision of your human rational brain... unless of course you are just an animal, or have had a few too many drinks..

If the initial question is about a specific situation, the answer will only come from the actual people involved being open enough to really discuss it...

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