A Little Insight...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
A Little Insight...
4
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 6:09pm

In the slut or empowered woman post, I got to thinking about what one of the posters replied to. The poster asked why is the OP looking for self worth by having multiple partners and seeking male affection.

I'm sorry but I'm feeling a little insulted by the insinuation. I've had multiple partners and I'm not seeking to gain self worth or male affection. I'm only 21, why should I tie myself down in a relationship or even think about having a relationship? I'm at an age where I want to have fun and be spontaneous. I don't feel any regrets about having multiple partners and I'm still seeking for more but with seeking comes experience, I can weed out the bad guys and still find some good guys. But it irks me that someone can tell me I have no self worth. It's bad enough my therapist thinks that but I don't need anyone else telling me the same thing.

:) thanks for letting me ramble and get back to having sex!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2005
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 6:12pm
No need to be insulted, the poster wasn't making any generalizations. The person who started that discussion thread said in her post that, "I often use whether a guy will sleep with me as a way of determining my self worth."
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 8:59am

I agree with journeyman that people were responding to specific statements made in another post, not to the general idea of multiple partners equals lack of self-worth.


I do believe that repeatedly engaging in risky behavior can be a sign of low self-worth.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 11:43pm
I agree with Journeyman and Jazznpercy here. Those comments were made because of what the original poster said. It sounds like things hit a little close to home, though? I know they did with me. I did not sleep around when I was younger, but I gave oral sex to many, many guys in high school. I did it because I was not getting love and affection at home, so I looked for it elsewhere. Obviously in the wrong places, but it is the past and I learned from it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 5:14am

I agree with the responses that all the previous posters gave to you. The poster in question was responding to Allison's personal observation that she often slept with men to measure her value as a woman (self-worth). It sounds like what was said hit home with you. Also, if your therapist noted that this was an area of your life that needed improvement, then maybe you should give it some consideration. Therapist are normally nonjudgmental and don't try to get you change your lifestyle because of their personal moral beliefs. They will however suggest a change when they see that a certain activity could lead to problems or self-destruction in one's life. If you really don't like what she's saying, then you have every right to seek out another therapist, but if the second one says the same thing, then it's probably safe to assume that this person isn't just blowing smoke up your chimney, lol.

Chakra