Lovers, mistresses, etc

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Lovers, mistresses, etc
20
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 5:31pm

I didn't want to hijack anothers thread so I started a new one.
Reading those other posts got me wondering...Are there many of you out there (men or women) who have a lover on the side that your SO knows about? It would seem rare to me but then again, who am I to know this stuff? I have trouble just getting the wife in the sack let alone a SECOND gal! ;)

But seriously, how common is it for a couple to have a third party and both partners be OK with it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 7:33pm

Well at the moment I'm neither

 

Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 8:08pm
i had a GF for quite a while, dh sometimes joined us.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 8:11pm

People who post on this board are probably more likely to have a third or fourth in their marital/SO mix. If you go to the Baptist Parenting board or one of the general parenting boards, you'll find that sort of arrangement very, very, very rare.

My DH and I share a girlfriend; she and her husband share me as a girlfriend. I'm going to see her ONE WEEK from today!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2005
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 8:22pm

Hi All

I think that it is more common than most people think. My guy's DW encouraged our meetings and usually arranges them. She origionally set it up and herded us into the bedroom and stayed till we were both nude but she did leave before actual i/c took place. Even now she will come to my place when he comes but will not participate. She has a very low labido and his is very high. My DH I think knows but a long time ago he told me not to rub it in his face. I respect that.

kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 9:39pm
I was surprised and would have thought it rare too! I would never had been involved in this kind of a relationship if it hadn't been perfect for me, and Dh hadn't of pushed so hard. It was his fantasy and he made it mine, so at first I was unwilling even though I was VERY attracted to our friend. I wouldn't say I have a boyfriend as we can't date or even go out alone, but we are lovers, both in a threesome and sometimes alone, and best friends as well. DH loves to watch us and even just know that we are enjoying each other even when he isn't there. He also likes to get into it right after I have sex with my lover, he says it is the best lube there is. I am often, even now, after a year surprised at the reaction my DH has. It just plain turns him on!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 9:46pm
kat,
Interesting although I'm not sure I'd equate the low libido with the aspect of a third party as my DW has a VERY low libido but if I even mention another woman's name in conversation during dinner about 100% work-related issues, its triggers a huge raised eyebrow and ALOT of questions!
Maybe its like Naughtygirl said and its just related to the folks that post here?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 9:49pm
onehot,
So if your husband came home and said he found another gal that he wanted to take as a lover would you be OK with it?
Forgive my questions but this is totally foreign to me as my wife is not open to anything like this and I don't have any friends that are in a situation similar to yours.
Thanx
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 9:59pm
DH is very attracted to a gal I work with, he has expressed interest in her. If he had come to me with this interest before we started the thing we have going, I would have been angry and not liked it a bit. But in the interest of being fair and how much I love being with my lover I would have to tell him ok, BUT I do not want to be there or hear about it! I have no interest in seeing him with another or being involved with another woman there, no foursome either....IF we were allowed to go to separate rooms, DH and girlfriend and another room for me and my lover then I could do that just fine!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 10:07pm

Hmmmm interesting. Thanks for the reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 10:08pm
Your questions are just fine! Honestly, I was not open to anything like this either and never would have thought I would be. I really am quite conservative and people that know me would never believe LOL Even my lover was totally surprised!!...for me the circumstances were just right with the right guy, trust and good friendship...it just all worked out.

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