my bf wants to do anal but i have never. done it and I'm freaking out

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2013
my bf wants to do anal but i have never. done it and I'm freaking out
11
Thu, 11-28-2013 - 7:47pm

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Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

  In a word LUBE!  It is very important to have plenty of lub and lube on the condom.  There are lots of articles on Anal sex on the web. Goggle anal sex and lubes.

Goldfish

Avatar for StephanieOC
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2013
I agree with XXX - lube! I too was scared when a bf wanted to do this but I prepared properly and we went for it. Not my thing but I was willing because I loved him :) Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2002

I agree with everything that has been said, but I offer one other piece of advice.  Have him start with a well lubed finger.  That will help open things up some and stretch things out a little.  Also go slow and insist that you have control.  If it starts to hurt, STOP.

CH

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2002

I agree with everything that has been said, but I offer one other piece of advice.  Have him start with a well lubed finger.  That will help open things up some and stretch things out a little.  Also go slow and insist that you have control.  If it starts to hurt, STOP.

CH

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005

I would add to start with him. You lube his back side up and use your finger in him then use a toy in him. Then heccac do the same with you. Then if he thinks he wants to get him self in your back side I would not give him oral or let him in the for not door until he washes him self very good. My lover and I play a little but the front door is way better than the back door.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2013
Tell him sure, but afterwards you get to peg him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2013

This is just absolutely right. Agree in every word.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2013

Hi--

I really understand your apprehension about anal sex.  I was in your place before my first time.  While we dont have frequent anal, I do enjoy it when we do.

All of the previous posters have provided great advise. The only thing that i can add is to approach anal sex with an open mind and seek out the pleasure that you and your b/f will have.

Please let us know if/when you experience anal for the first time

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2013
Personally I hate it. But to each his own. It might be your thing. Take it slow and let him know to be gentle. You may love it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2009

We do it once in a great while, as a special treat for the bf.  He is very well endowed and I am an extremely petite person so it is not at all easy.  

First of all, obviously, you need to make sure there's no poo whatsoever in your system.  Clean everything cleaner than you have ever cleaned it.  I do this part well out of sight of him, and come to him well lubed up and ready to go -- I don't know if your bf is squeamish like mine, but mine would never ever apply lube to me there.  

Next thing is, you've got to get him bone hard.  I mean 100%.  Though a 3/4 hardon will probably work if the vagina is wet and ready, no possible way it will work anally.  It has to wedge its way into an incredibly tight space.  Think max erection.

Next thing is to apply a ton of lube to him.  I really do mean a ton.  You will need it.  Now, without missing a beat, stick your butt up in the air (doggy style is the easiest for me) and have him slowly penetrate it.  

He might or might not know this, but it's a good idea to explain to him what he's about to feel.  The anus has an outer sphincter, a short tube, then an inner sphincter.  Once he's past the inner one, there's a ton of room.   He says it doesn't feel like a vagina, more like fingers in very tight circle sliding up and down it. Anyhow, tell him not to pump going in but just to go in all the way in one slow smooth firm motion -- it seems like it can't possibly work and then it will work.  Just when you feel it starting to go in, you must totally relax -- just like, well you know.  

The first time, this relaxing part was really really difficult.  You feel like you're going to burst.  But then -- I suppose like breaking the sound barrier -- everything becomes very smooth.  For me it was scary as hell but ultimately not unpleasant the first time.  And you have to stay relaxed or you can actually hurt him -- if you inadvertently clamp those muscles they can get very very very tight.  Then you're set: stay relaxed, and he can pump away to his heart's content just fine.  

We have never used a condom for it but surely it's not a bad idea.  If you don't use a condom, just have him cum in there because you must not have his unit anywhere near your mourth or vagina after it's been up your rear, until it is thoroughly, meticulously washed -- otherwise, you can get really sick.

For us it's by no means a regular thing, but it does increase our bond to know we do that sometimes.  Among other things, for me it massively increases the feeling of being owned by him -- which is a good thing.

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