Opposite sex friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Opposite sex friends
14
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 7:42pm
Not a Taboo question but do you have many opposite sex friends (not in a sexual way but just a friend way)? If you do, does your SO mind?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 7:50pm
Yes, I do. Always have, since before I was old enough to really know the difference, and probably always will. I enjoy hanging around with women, enjoy their company. My DW does not mind, as she knows that I'm not in any way going to act in a manner that would be inappropriate for a person in a committed monogamous relationship, and that I would be sad if I had to give up my female friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 8:36pm

>>>>Not a Taboo question but do you have many opposite sex friends (not in a sexual way but just a friend way)?
Yes, I think I just about have more guy friends than girl friends.

>>>>If you do, does your SO mind?
Too bad if he does! I have one that he doesn't like me being friends with because we slept together a couple of times while SO and I were just FWB. What happened between my friend and I hasn't been a problem to our friendship since then, and we have both become heavily involved with other people, so what's done is done, and that's the end of it really. So I can understand him being upset about that one, but if he got upset about any of the others I would have a lot to say about it!!

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 8:49pm

My very best friend is a male.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:05pm
Indeed I do have many platonic opposite sex friends. No, DH doesn't have an issue with it. My exDH did... that's a part of why he's my ex. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:09pm
So as a followup to all you folks saying Yes and No they don't mind...
What extent do you have contact with your opposite sex friends...phone calls, emails, lunch, drinks...do you spend time with that friend with your and their SO or alone...
..and if alone is it alot of time or like say, one day every month or so?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 7:15am

>>> What extent do you have contact with your opposite sex friends...phone calls, emails, lunch, drinks...

Emails certainly. Phone calls occasionally, although it's not a common occurence. I have met opposite sex friends for lunch, for drinks, and even occasionally for dinner. Always with DW's knowledge, but usually without her presence. Friendships are just in a different category than my romantic (and sexual) relationship with DW, and we find that it's hard for both to exist in the same space without either DW feeling excluded from much of the conversation, or my friends feeling that we're not having the same level of conversation we would be otherwise because I'm trying to include DW. This isn't really a gender issue, though, as I could make similar statements about my guy friends.




Edited 3/26/2006 8:16 am ET by bostonsteve
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 7:48am

"What extent do you have contact with your opposite sex friends...phone calls, emails, lunch, drinks..."

Very frequent emailing and IMing. We do occasionally talk on the phone and meet up for lunch or drinks- maybe once or twice a month? Bear in mind that our social lives have been completely eclipsed by my DH commuting and working 15 hours a day, plus until December I was a full-time student and we have four children. Even when there's time to go out, I rarely have the energy, and ditto for DH. Back a few years ago, when we had more time, I would go out once a week or more with opposite sex friends, and DH was irritated that I was ditching him and the kids, but not because my friends are male. We would booze it up downtown, or go to parties, or hang out and watch movies... and yes, these are platonic friends.

"do you spend time with that friend with your and their SO or alone..."

Either way, it doesn't matter. Usually alone, but spouses are more than welcome.

"..and if alone is it alot of time or like say, one day every month or so?"

See above- rarely anymore, due to time and energy constraints, but it has been as frequent as once a week, sometimes twice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 5:31pm
bostonsteve,
Does your DW ever get mad when you go without her or is it by her own choice not to go?
Thanks
TM
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 6:15pm
No, she doesn't get mad when I meet up with friends (girls or guys), nor do I if she's meeting up with guy friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2005
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 6:48am

Not really BUT I know he wouldn't mind...hes not the jelous type...I have a BF on the side...LOL....who is probably my Best friend.

My dh and I were friends for 11 years before we started dating...

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