I happened across iVillage quite by accident months ago and just started looking around. It seemed like a good place to make friends and talk without feeling judged. Everyone has their likes and dislikes and for the most part folks on a couple of the boards respect that. I've met some great friends here and I can vent to them and vice versa. But it's sad to know that others are in the same position as me.
"Some of you are in a sexless relationship. I am just curious, what brings you to a board like this?"
I would think that maybe the hope of once again having an exciting sex life is one reason many people come here. I would be interesting to know the number of lurkers that come to this board and read... never post.
I was in a marriage where the last four + years were sexless. Defined: no intercourse, no touching, no kissing, no 'nothing'... my problem was that I still loved her, or maybe thought I did.
Our divorce came about when many different events occurred after my Dad died ten years ago. There was a HUGE split between the brothers and sisters in my family that still exist to this day. My daughter started a long downslide of getting into about every kind of trouble she could get into. My then wife and I got into a huge argument which resulted in her filing for divorce for irreconcilable differences. Not long after she filed, this woman at work started coming on to me, and I had to refuse. Even though it had been so long since I had sex, this wasnt the time or place for this to happen. Maybe six weeks later, I learned that my sister who was the executor of my Dad's estate 'took' over $350,000 in cash from the estate. After learning this, I just stopped caring about anything and everything. A few days later, that woman came on to me and I did something I shouldnt have done. I told her that I couldnt see her again.. after a bit of her trying to be with me again, she told me that if I didnt see her, that she would call my then-wife and tell her what happened. TO make a long story short, she did, the divorce changed from Irreconcilable differences to Adultery, and I was hammered. I took a beating emotionally and financially and a host of other ways. It was at least another two years before I had sex with anyone again.
It was boards similar to this that made me realize that a healthy sex drive (defined as whatever is agreeable between two consenting adults) is OK. It was boards like this that helped me to realize that I really didnt have the problem in the marriage with sex... that my then wife did.
I have to admit that I have ended some relationships that appeared to not be sexually satisfying.
I can't believe I posted all of this... I may come back and delete it... talk about things that open up old wounds...
I sometimes have a sexless marriage which I believe is defined medically as sex no more than 10 times a year ( could be different according to different sources but the one I saw stated this). We have gone as long as a year about 6 years ago, and others periods of 1 to 9 months since then). The past year or so has been much better for us and I contribute much of that to downsizing so our home life is calmer and also these boards. I started out at Secrets of Married Sex and was bored one night so just went looking around the village. I got a response from this board from who I don't remember but that's how I started posting here. I come here b/c when we do have sex it is what some others would define as Taboo and enjoy having like minded people to talk to it about. So in my books Taboo isn't defined by how often you have sex but what kind of sex you do have.
Pages
Define sexless, please.
Edited 12/21/2006 11:41 am ET by nhgal2006
I know for us we had a big dry spell that was affecting every aspect of our relationship.
glad we could help!
LM posted...
"Some of you are in a sexless relationship. I am just curious, what brings you to a board like this?"
I would think that maybe the hope of once again having an exciting sex life is one reason many people come here. I would be interesting to know the number of lurkers that come to this board and read... never post.
I was in a marriage where the last four + years were sexless. Defined: no intercourse, no touching, no kissing, no 'nothing'... my problem was that I still loved her, or maybe thought I did.
Our divorce came about when many different events occurred after my Dad died ten years ago. There was a HUGE split between the brothers and sisters in my family that still exist to this day. My daughter started a long downslide of getting into about every kind of trouble she could get into. My then wife and I got into a huge argument which resulted in her filing for divorce for irreconcilable differences. Not long after she filed, this woman at work started coming on to me, and I had to refuse. Even though it had been so long since I had sex, this wasnt the time or place for this to happen. Maybe six weeks later, I learned that my sister who was the executor of my Dad's estate 'took' over $350,000 in cash from the estate. After learning this, I just stopped caring about anything and everything. A few days later, that woman came on to me and I did something I shouldnt have done. I told her that I couldnt see her again.. after a bit of her trying to be with me again, she told me that if I didnt see her, that she would call my then-wife and tell her what happened. TO make a long story short, she did, the divorce changed from Irreconcilable differences to Adultery, and I was hammered. I took a beating emotionally and financially and a host of other ways. It was at least another two years before I had sex with anyone again.
It was boards similar to this that made me realize that a healthy sex drive (defined as whatever is agreeable between two consenting adults) is OK. It was boards like this that helped me to realize that I really didnt have the problem in the marriage with sex... that my then wife did.
I have to admit that I have ended some relationships that appeared to not be sexually satisfying.
I can't believe I posted all of this... I may come back and delete it... talk about things that open up old wounds...
Regardless...
Merry Christmas...
Jim
Edited 12/21/2006 12:51 pm ET by j_o_brown
Pages