Sex in front of another couple

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2010
Sex in front of another couple
64
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 4:15pm

My husband wants to get a hotel room with a double bed and share it with another married couple that we both know and have sex with them in the room.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 5:47am

We've done it three times and for us it was amazing. For us they were spontaneous occasions which I think added to the excitement. I loved watching and being watched. I could see how it wouldn't be for everyone, however. Do you or your husband have another couple in mind?

Anne

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 6:14pm

We do what you describe - sort of.

To cut a long story short, we regularly go to a swingers' spa, here in the UK, so we can watch other couples have sex, be watched as we have sex, and generally enjoy the fantastic erotic atmosphere.

We went on our own first, but got to know a few other couples, and now we arrange to meet them there. As with any other activity, it's more fun to go with people you know, and the only difference is at some point in the day we will get to have sex in their company, and vice versa.

Most people go to swinging venues to swap and/or enjoy group sex and/or satisfy the female's bi-sexual curiosity, but we don't go for any of those things. We only touch each other and we only enjoy sex in front of other couples (not singles).

We don't feel awkward afterwards. You soon lose your inhibitions in such situations and realise that sexual pleasure is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, we feel quite proud of ourselves because it is very liberating, as we have taken sex to new levels (proving it's about more than a quick shag).

We can't deny it's a sexual thrill, but if you get to see people you know in the ultimate intimate situation - and especially if it's obvious they are a loving couple - it can also feel like a real privilege, and letting them watch us is like showing off how good our sex is together. It sounds corny, but it's a bit of a celebration of our sex life.

The golden rule of swinging is you must decide your boundaries before you go, and stick to them. In your case, if you are going to try it, it is very important to talk about why, and most important of all is where you want it to lead. We decided it wouldn't lead anywhere, but some see it as a first step to their fantasy of swapping.

We think sex in front of other couples is something everybody should try at least once before they die, and we have to say that our private sex at home has been better than ever since we gave public sex a try.

Sorry - long answer, but it has helped to put your mind and rest, and hopefully even tempted you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 10:38am

I have not done this, but would like to.

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 11:18am

Ivy - life is too short to wait for things to happen. MAKE it happen!

You'll love it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 1:20pm

I touched on this topic

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2009
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 3:20pm

Ivy,


Just go to www dot ask dot com and type in "your state" and "swinger" and you will probably see a couple of good sites to explore.


These have couples and singles with various filters so you can get some idea of who and where.


Many of these sites have events at a variety of bars, restaurants and special clubs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 6:45pm

Ivy,

You need to make time for yourselves, away from the toddler, somehow, then go to any swinger club.

I think some swinger groups hire places or meet in private, but I am talking about a club that is just like a nightclub, except instead of being for dancing, it's solely for swinging. I don't know where you are in the world, but here in the UK there are 20 or 30 clubs like this, and a few spas.

You don't need to arrange any meetings - just go along and see how you like it. It's only when you've experienced it for yourself that you can really decide where you want to take it next.

There is no pressure to join in, so you can take all the time you need to decide. I sold it to my wife, the first time we went, as a chance to see what goes on and see if we fancied sex in public, and she was happy to go on that basis.

The worst thing that can happen at this type of venue is you only get to watch - but I'm sure your DH won't complain about getting to see lots of real sex, up close, in a really erotic atmosphere. It's worth going, just for that.

If you're lucky, you'll meet a couple who you could share a bed or room with, for watching and being watched, or more if you like.

But remember to set your boundaries for the night, before you go, and stick to them - which may be no swapping.

It may be hard for you to talk frankly with people there at first, but you'll probably be surprised how friendly and sociable people can be, especially if you tell them you're new. When everybody around you is losing their inhibitions, it's amazing how normal it seems to talk about what you're there for.

Doing it at a hotel or through a party invite sounds too pressurised for us. You may get to like that, but for newbies that's really jumping in at the deep end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2009
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 11:20pm

I agree about people being nice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 2:23pm

I live in the east coast (U.S.) and I’ve checked a few swingers websites for “local events”.

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 7:13pm

I see your problem.

There aren't many of these hotel parties in the UK (as far as I know) because if you want to go to a swingers' party you just go to a permanent club that is always going to be open on Fridays and Saturdays, and sometimes other days. Wherever you live in England, it's not far to travel to find one, so parties aren't necessary.

People still organise private parties, usually at their homes, but they invite people they already know. Parties sound intense to us, whereas permanent clubs are very casual and relaxed, and spas, which are rarer, are completely chilled out.

I had a quick look at what's available in some US states and found some that look similar to UK clubs and seem to be permanent, but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post a link here (I got told off while innocently doing something similar). It would also be useful if I could post a link to a UK club to show you the sort of place you're looking for, but again I don't want to be accused of promoting it or spamming.

Try Googling and then contacting clubs direct, asking them whether they are what you are looking for - and if not, can they recommend somewhere?

It would also be very useful to join a swingers' contact website. The UK-based one we use has a chat room where people are very happy to give you very useful advice. They should also have a review section for clubs.

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