slut or empowered female
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slut or empowered female
| Mon, 08-14-2006 - 2:10pm |
Ok, so I love to have sex. I have it all the time ith multiple partners and 2 (although mistakes) have been with married guys. They told me they were single. I am a well educated, ivy league educated, “nice-jewish girl” from Connecticut. People always say that I am smart, and I am not bad looking, yet I often use whether a guy will sleep with me as a way of determining my self worth. I went to a small grad school where I slept around with professors and students, and after a while, everyone started talking about me. At the ned of the year, The school does 'skits' about class personalities. Mine was about sleeping with too many people. Should I be proud of this? Or should I feel ashamed?

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I wouldn't feel ashamed. Do you think men who sleep with multiple partners are ashamed? No...so why should women? I just wouldn't bring it out in the open of the multiple partners i've had because people do tend to be closed minded and think less of you because they feel insecure or jealous or whatever. Besides are these the people you see everyday? Will you be seeing them 10, 20 years from now? So why should you feel ashamed by somebody you'll never see again?
Hi, Allison.
Hello Allison. After reading your post, an old story came to my mind. A farmer had an old well, and one day his goat somehow fell into it. It was deep and the farmer tried every means possible to rescue the goat, but he couldn't. He thought, "well, I can just try to give it a decent burial." He got his shovel and started throwing dirt in the well over the goat. But when he looked down, he saw something taking place. Each time he threw the dirt in the well, the goat would shake it off and stamp it under it's feet, and by doing so it was slowly getting closer to the top. The farmer kept shoveling the dirt in the well, and the goat kept shaking it off and stamping it under it's feet, and eventually rose close enough to the top of the well for the farmer to pull it out. The moral of the story is when dirt gets thrown on you, shake it off and stamp it under your feet, and you will always rise above it.
We all have done things in our lives that we're not proud of, but it's in the past and we can't change it. So why dwell on it? We can't change what we've done, but we can change what we do and how we behave. You don't need anyone's hormones to help you determine your self worth; you do that by coming to recognize how unique you are and that there is no one else on this earth like you. You have those special qualities that make you unique, so admire and appreciate them as you appreciate yourself.
Humpdaddy, I was a slut when I was younger - that's how I thought of myself then.
I was already very badly damaged before I started sleeping around, which is why I
Excellent advice, humpdaddy! Totally agree with you and I couldn't have said it better. I believe given her level of promiscuity, not only could it hurt her physically making her more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases, but it also harm her emotionally.
*disclaimer* The following is not my interpretation of humpdaddy's post, just my observations. I may be in the minority, but I'm not one of those women who believes that just because a woman is as promiscuous as a single male traditionally would be, this means you're liberated. If anything, I think when a woman abuses her temple (body) that way, she's in bondage once again to the same dominant male train of thought (that woman are just used for sex and a man's pleasure). The only difference is that with the new sexually "liberated" women, the guy doesn't have to try so hard to get in her panties. She gives it up rather easily.
In my personal opinion, a real sexually empowered woman chooses her partners with care, because she realizes that her body is special and isn't suitable for just anyone to screw around with, she's vocal about her sexual pleasure and not afraid to tell a man what pleases her. Also, the sexually empowered woman understands that she doesn't NEED a man to fulfill her sexual needs, and that the most immense pleasure she can experience can be brought on by herself by exploring her own body and connecting with her pleasure points. Female self-pleasure is truly an art that should be learned, I believe many women would stop using men to satisfy their needs and wants once this happens. After she's learned to please herself, then she probably won't be looking to men so much for the physical aspect of a relationship as she will for the emotional value it can hold.
I think it's been some misconceptions of the liberation movement over the years. Many women want so badly to unite over this idea, that they're afraid to tell any other women, that there is such a thing as being overly promiscuous and abusing your body. This accomplishes the exact opposite of the movement they're so proud of. It's been said so many times before, but it's true, that one must learn to love themselves and value their worth before they can love someone else. Also the worst mistake she's making is putting the value of her self-worth on whether a man will sleep with her or not. If anything, she should think of it this way, for the most part, promiscuous males will sleep with just about any living, breathing female specimen, no matter how she looks. As long as she has a vagina, then they're good for business. In this case, I think she's pricing her value pretty low because she's worth so much more than that.
With what she has to offer, she'd be a gem to any man who would take her for a wife one day. If she doesn't confront this problem now, it's going to make for bigger issues in the future. For example, if she never overcomes this longing for many partners, once she's married, she'll find it very difficult to remain faithful to her husband (unless she has an open marriage) and it'll just cause her anguish because she won't be used to a man respecting and loving ONLY her. This will cause trauma to her family unit, particularly if there if there are children involved.
Allison should know that the "high" you get from having sex outside of a loving relationship is only temporary, and it's NOT a way to feel loved or to heal your emotional wounds. She's an intelligent modern day woman, with a bright future, but I hope she can achieve success in her personal life with a that man wants to be with her, loves & respects her and solely fulfills all the needs that she could want in the opposite sex. Success in one's personal and love life will bring true happiness and fulfillment, IMHO.
Chakra
Edited 8/16/2006 12:46 am ET by ayurchakra
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