slut or empowered female

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
slut or empowered female
21
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 2:10pm
Ok, so I love to have sex. I have it all the time ith multiple partners and 2 (although mistakes) have been with married guys. They told me they were single. I am a well educated, ivy league educated, “nice-jewish girl” from Connecticut. People always say that I am smart, and I am not bad looking, yet I often use whether a guy will sleep with me as a way of determining my self worth. I went to a small grad school where I slept around with professors and students, and after a while, everyone started talking about me. At the ned of the year, The school does 'skits' about class personalities. Mine was about sleeping with too many people. Should I be proud of this? Or should I feel ashamed?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 7:06pm

Jazz, you sound like a great person. It probably just took therapy for you to realize that the great person you are deserves better than what you were providing for yourself at the time. It's nice to hear a success story about therapy and how you've changed your life around. Hopefully Allison can gain inspiration from you and learn how to love and respect herself as well.

Chakra

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 9:40pm

If I were in your shoes, I would neither feel proud or ashamed.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 8:04am

Your heart desires love and you are looking for afirmation that you have value.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 8:21am
Jazz, would you do me a personal favor. Could you list and/ or explain to me the issues you had and how you over came them?.
I ask this because, I do know people can change their behavior. I also know there are some people who for what ever reason find change almost impossible.
My wife of two years was pretty wild in college. Had 3 FWB at one time, 6 one night stands, 3 boy friends. She tells me of her many walk of shames, referred to herself as a whore. She realized when college was over she couldnt continue that life style, so she stopped sleeping around. Must have got it out of her system as she describes it.Her choices of men for the next ten years were not good one. She was attracted to the bad boy types, immature, aloof, didnt treat her well.She was with one for 5 years, 3 of those years they lived together. That didnt work out so they parted ways, and she went right into another bad relationship. It lasted one year. For the next 18 months, she didnt date anyone of have any casul sex. She said she had always been "settling". She did some serious soul seaching and said she would not settle but would try to attract a real man who appreciated women, a man she wouldnt have to "change"and was reasonably successful.
Then she met me. We fell in love, and she told me now she knows what being in love is really like. She now knows she had never been "in love" before. Lust maybe but not love. She told me I was the first man she could totally let go with and be herself in life and in bed...My point is she knew she was better than her actions, and wanted a better life for herself...She is a wonderful person, one you would never suspect she had the past she did (even though most of her "past" was 15 years ago in college)In the beginning we were friends first, and we shared a lot about our pasts. When we fell in love, I had some small issues with her past, but I realized that was another person from another time. I do get to reap the benefits of her "experence" , however....lol
Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 8:26am
Hey, are we married??


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 8:37am
It amazes me how much we learn about ourselves in our late teens and early twenties. Problem is , some people take much longer to learn lifes lessions and then there are those who never learn.How did you over come pipolar? meds?
Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 8:52am
yeah...I am just hoping I raise my kids to not be so risky, like I was.


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