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Threesome
| Sat, 06-24-2006 - 9:27pm |
My husband & I want to have a threesome with another woman but we can't figure out where to find her. Does anyone have any suggestions for us? Thanks
| Sat, 06-24-2006 - 9:27pm |
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Since the two you are looking for another woman, I will assume that you are continually discussing all aspects related to search (e.g. feelings, boundries, what ifs, planning the evening, etc). Have you and your husband decided are you looking for a straight or bi woman? Only reason for asking is that there tends to be more bi woman looking for couple than a straight woman. If you are looking for an encounter where there is no contact between the women it is possible to have a bi woman join you. However you will need to communicate it to her that you are not interested in any f - f contact.
With that said, there are much fewer woman (bi or straight) single woman looking to join a couple than single men. It is not to say you will never find a single woman but the time and effort needed is going to be much more than a single man. Below are a few starting points for the two of you:
Swingers clubs:
This is probably the best place to start. However do not expect on your first visit to find a single woman to play with. It may take some time and effort. A recommendation is to contact the club before going to find out the type of clinetel they get, let them know that you are wanting to find a single woman, and if there is a good night to meet one.
Internet Sites:
If you are not into the club scene then this is an alternative. You may find allot of time is invested trolling through replies from males claiming to be a single woman. There are many reason why they do it but do not be shocked when you find one.
Friends / acquintances / co-workers:
This is something I strongly advise against. The short term pay off may be great but the consequences are not great. If you do go down this route you will forever change the relationship that you have with them and if it is a co-worker you can be putting your job at risk especially if you work in a right to work state.
Alternative:
The first alternative would be finding a couple through an internet site or a swingers club a couple who would be willing ' to share' the f half. It could mean that they would expect you, the f, to play with them alone at another date or they might be happy with the f playing with the two of you. Before agreeing to it make sure everyone is clear about the expectations and boundries.
Another alternative would be playing with another couple in the same room and during the play have the other m (maybe while resting) play with the f and have him watch. This could be quite erotic for all involved but it needs to be communicated to the other couple before any playing begins. By doing one of the two above alternative you would be greatly increasing your chances of finding someone and there is a good chance that you will decrease the time needed to find someone to play with.
The final alternative is, have the two of you considered playing with another male? Males are much more abundant and can be quite accomodating. The advantage is that your time you need to find someone will be significantly allot less and probably could find someone who closely matches your need.
Contrary to what many in the 'vanilla' world believes the males are not bi or homosexual. You can have a very straight encounter with two very straight men. (Please note I am not slamming gays or bisexual people only trying to contradict a stereotype held by some people regarding the sexuality of males in a mfm situation) There would not be any contact between them and you, the f, would be getting twice the pleasure. A mfm threesome situation is by the most common and the most satisfying for all in involved.
No matter what route you decide to go remember to communicate and discuss your feelings along the way. Once you find someone to play with remember to communicate your feelings and boundries to them. Without a significant amount of discussion any threesome situation is doomed to failure. If you do decide that a mff is the route you want to go. Please remember it can take allot of effort and time to find a single woman.
Hey Curious - I sure don't but
That is an excellent and there are three other good sites I can think of:
1) swingersboard dot com. This site discusses all aspects of swining from being new, to finding the elusive single female, to a whole plethera of other topics. Plus it has an excellent archieves to reivew. The discussions are quite frank and adult. However there are no pornographic images and very crude discussions are not tolerated. The site is an excellent resource for finding information and to ask questions.
2) Also the organisation Society for Human Sexuality has an excellent informative website dealing with sexuality including threesomes (swinging). It is an excellent starting point for understanding threesomes and other practices. If you are considering looking at swingersboard, this site will give you a starting point to understand some of the issues involved in swinging / threesomes. The domain is a dot org.
3) North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) has a listing of certified swing clubs in the US and Canada, its domain is a dot com.
To begin with I would not judge swinging from any television shows. The reason being they are very one sided and done with a very specific point of view. Some will show the drama by by selecting couples who had relationship problems before entering swinging and swinging brought them to the head. Alternatively some shows will show the erotic side of it by trying to focus on the image of three people having sex together without really discussing the communication that needs to occur.
Threesomes / swinging involves people from all walks of lives. This means people who swing come in all sizes, shapes, attractiveness, and colors. In my opinion you will probably spend a lot of time looking for a single female and would encourage you to look at other options too. I am confident if you take the time and effort you will find the type of female you are looking. However I suspect it might take you months or even years before you find her. The best way to achieve your goal is to be very specific about what you are wanting when talking with potential playmates. It may mean that you will talk to 100 before agreeing to meet just one. Though I suspect it would save you wasting allot of time.
My recommendation to you is consider the following before discussing any meeting with a potential playmate. Hopefully it will help you in clarifying what you are wanting from an encounter:
1) Think about how you define attractive? What facors define attractiveness is it height, hair color, body shape, weight, hair length, skin color, ect.
2) Consider what activities are you wanting to participate in with the other woman? Do you want her to perform oral on you, you perform oral on her, kissing, caressing, feeling, ect?
3) What activities will you allow your husband to participate with her? Will he be able to have intercourse with her? will she be able to perform oral on him? can he kiss her? Will see just be eye candy for him and he cannot do anything with her?
4) Are you looking for a female who is experienced, new, bi, straight, attached, unatttached, and what other general characteristics are you wanting?
5) Are you wanting a one off situation or some one to play with from time to time?
6) What are you hoping to achieve from meeting someone to join you?
7) Is this something you truly want to do?
I don't think you are being shallow but I do think that you are limiting yourself even further. When discussing finding a single f I always say for every 1,000 single men willing to play there is one single bi female and for every 10,000 single men willing to play there is one single straight female.
For some people attractiveness is very important and swinging is meant to be an enjoyable activity. If you do not have some 'attraction', either emotional or physical to the other, how can you really enjoy it? However in this situation without considering other options I feel you may have a difficult time finding someone that meets all of your requirements and would have you think about other options for finding a female to play with. Best way around this is to prioritize them and decide what features are you willing to compromize on? The more rigid in requirements you are the more time it will take to find that 'perfect' someone to join you.
Finally the one thing that hits me is that I am wondering if you are 'taking one for the team'. Meaning you are doing this more for your husband but not yourself. If you are you may find that you are setting yourself up for a disappointment and find that any single woman you meet with may not measure up to your expectations. Threesomes / swinging is an activity that requires 'equal' willingness on all three participants. Without a desire yourself to do it you may find disappointment with the whole set up.
What ever you decide to do remember to do it because you want to and not because you felt pressured to do it. After each session remember to talk through it with your SO and discuss any unresolved feelings. If not, you may find that you have some unresolved issues regarding the encounter which can impact your relationship. Swinging / threesomes is meant to be a shared experience and not relationship destroyer. Take your time, discuss, and enjoy.
Best wishes to you and your search
Hi curious, welcome!
One of the things you could try is seeing how each of you handle a third person seeing you naked. Take it a step further and see if both of you are comfortable with a third person touching you.
We used a escort service and got a guy first and then a lady - That way, we could call it off anytime and we had also discussed what we'd like to see / do and practiced our 'time-outs' as well.
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