Vanilla (to me) is just a convenient shorthand for conventional (i.e. non-taboo) sex, and there's nothing boring about it. It's just different than when one of us is all tied up with no place to go.
That's an interesting point, Jazz. 25 years ago I'd have put oral on the fence (some girls did, but it was by no means universal, and it didn't usually happen until after you'd already had i/c with someone) and anal squarely in the non-vanilla category. Today I'd classify oral as vanilla, and anal as on the fence.
With respect to attitudes towards anal, one of the changes I've noticed is how much more common anal scenes are in porn now vs then. In the early 80's — which was in the early days of the AIDS epidemic — only Euro babes did anal on camera. American video vixens would do BJs, i/c, d/p (orally and vaginally), orgy scenes and other girls — but the back door was never open for business.
Another area that I think was considered more taboo then than now is toys. Back then toys were a lot less common, and something as exotic as a woman with a strap-on would have been extremely taboo. These days suburban housewives are hosting toy parties.
I LOL at this, thinking of some of the D/s players I've encountered who would consider swinging or swapping to be a vanilla activity since it "only" involves sex. Ultimately I think any definition of non-vanilla that encompasses only swinging, or only BDSM, is too limiting.
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Picking up on this and a couple of comments that Steve and others made:
Has your definition of "conventional" sex or "regular" sex evolved over the years?
When I was in high school -
With respect to attitudes towards anal, one of the changes I've noticed is how much more common anal scenes are in porn now vs then. In the early 80's — which was in the early days of the AIDS epidemic — only Euro babes did anal on camera. American video vixens would do BJs, i/c, d/p (orally and vaginally), orgy scenes and other girls — but the back door was never open for business.
Another area that I think was considered more taboo then than now is toys. Back then toys were a lot less common, and something as exotic as a woman with a strap-on would have been extremely taboo. These days suburban housewives are hosting toy parties.
Oral sex is a big deal for me, because I really didn't like giving or receiving it before I met SO.
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