ours is the other way around DH pouts when he feels like I am too busy with the kids and everything else. It has really made him step up and help out as much as he can to take some of the pressure off of me so I have more time to devote to him and I am not too tied.
But remember...I'm the goat in this household! LOL!
On a serious note, I do recognize when he is stressed with work or things around the house and try to make at least life at home a little easier. Pouting is always my last weapon I pull out of my bag! ;-)
Well, LM you just hit a nerve that sent me squirming.
This has been my life the better part of 10 years. It leave me feeling hurt, rejected, unwanted and just a shell of the man I want to be.
This situation is what lead me to the internet and message boards. I researched and conversed with many people and tried everything I thought might help. I did this for over 3 years and with no real progress, I gave up.
I began looking for a woman with a similar situation and it isn't easy with so many more unhappy men than woman. At a point in time when I was just coasting through my roomate status, I got an email from a local woman that had read my simple, heart felt personal add. It's been a year now and we are very much in love. We are both married with kids and know niether of us would divorce because of the kids. It sounds strange, but my wife is a good mom, but a lousy lover, as is my friends husband. We chat daily and see each other when we can. I have to tell you being desired is soooo nice...it is something I havent felt in more than 10 years.
It took courage to take that step PC. I cannot seem to take that plunge, so now I am searching the internet for a good set of golf clubs and talking a couple of buddies into dusting off theirs as well. All 3 of us are in the same boat. Is motherhood for women and work for men the cloak that is hidden behind to escape showing desire for their spouses? Or is it really that the other just doesn't have that desire for the one they are with, but the fear of latching on to the one that really does arouse and being alone keep them in situations that they don't even like (even though they don't want to admit it? Funny, its my wife that is pushing for the golf, fishing, whatever. Congratulations on your last year...I will live in the past and that seven months of dating when I felt like I was the only stud on the planet for her.
About 8 years ago I took up flying an ultralight...a hang glider with a snowmobile engine. It was great, but as my girls got older I realized it wasn't very safe and it was rather expensive for not involving the whole family. In the past 6 years we have bought horses and built a barn. My daughters are 13, 11, and 9. They ride their horse 3 or 4 times a week and love it. My ultralight collects dust but I am ok with that.
None of these helped me as a man, well the ultralight did, LOL.
The past year has been wonderful and confusing and scary.
PC and talbed, I truly understand where both of you are and what you have been through. You have both chose two different courses to deal with it. I would like to add my choice which some of you already know. I went 11 years feeling worthless due to my ex wife's lack of desire for me or any sex/intimacy at all. After much counseling and no sign of a stable improvement, I divorced her. I then set out to find another high libido woman for my life. I was lucky and found one in a short time. Everything was great for quite a while, but now 6 years into the relationship, it's dropping off and I again do not feel wanted. At first we do as LL said, "shrug it off and try again tomorrow", but that only lasts for so long. I know that communication is the key, but it seems impossible to do without being taken the wrong way and causing a further distancing. I tried "the other woman" thing and it backfired on me. Is the answer to keep continually moving on every few years, or start shopping for golf clubs?
I realize that even shooting into the low 90's one day will not supplant the hole in my life. Nothing can fill that void. Right now the wonderful side of the scale is outweighed in my mind by the confused and scary elements. If the balance ever tips the other direction, well there may be two happy people on this earth.
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I feel fat and ugly.
True...true...and you do have your hands full...
But remember...I'm the goat in this household! LOL!
On a serious note, I do recognize when he is stressed with work or things around the house and try to make at least life at home a little easier. Pouting is always my last weapon I pull out of my bag! ;-)
Well, LM you just hit a nerve that sent me squirming.
This has been my life the better part of 10 years. It leave me feeling hurt, rejected, unwanted and just a shell of the man I want to be.
This situation is what lead me to the internet and message boards. I researched and conversed with many people and tried everything I thought might help. I did this for over 3 years and with no real progress, I gave up.
I began looking for a woman with a similar situation and it isn't easy with so many more unhappy men than woman. At a point in time when I was just coasting through my roomate status, I got an email from a local woman that had read my simple, heart felt personal add. It's been a year now and we are very much in love. We are both married with kids and know niether of us would divorce because of the kids. It sounds strange, but my wife is a good mom, but a lousy lover, as is my friends husband. We chat daily and see each other when we can. I have to tell you being desired is soooo nice...it is something I havent felt in more than 10 years.
With my new friend I am the man I want to be!
PC
Congratulations on your last year...I will live in the past and that seven months of dating when I felt like I was the only stud on the planet for her.
so your golfing...thats a good pass time.
About 8 years ago I took up flying an ultralight...a hang glider with a snowmobile engine. It was great, but as my girls got older I realized it wasn't very safe and it was rather expensive for not involving the whole family. In the past 6 years we have bought horses and built a barn. My daughters are 13, 11, and 9. They ride their horse 3 or 4 times a week and love it. My ultralight collects dust but I am ok with that.
None of these helped me as a man, well the ultralight did, LOL.
The past year has been wonderful and confusing and scary.
so that's where the name came from...
PC
You have both chose two different courses to deal with it. I would like to add my choice which some of you already know.
I went 11 years feeling worthless due to my ex wife's lack of desire for me or any sex/intimacy at all. After much counseling and no sign of a stable improvement, I divorced her. I then set out to find another high libido woman for my life. I was lucky and found one in a short time. Everything was great for quite a while, but now 6 years into the relationship, it's dropping off and I again do not feel wanted.
At first we do as LL said, "shrug it off and try again tomorrow", but that only lasts for so long.
I know that communication is the key, but it seems impossible to do without being taken the wrong way and causing a further distancing.
I tried "the other woman" thing and it backfired on me.
Is the answer to keep continually moving on every few years, or start shopping for golf clubs?
Pages