I could not continually shop. I never want the effects of a hardening heart to come into play and that would do it. I do not want to become a skeptic towards the thing I admire the most on this planet...women. I am not so sure I would ever remarry.
Yes, I understand what you mean. And I have had my sceptical and heart hardening times. I have come to the decision that I will not marry again. Not until some woman can prove to me that it would be worth it, and I doubt that will happen. Even my present GF has seen this hardening. Earlier years of our relationship i was always discussing marriage. In the last year I have informed her that I no longer feel marriage is worth it. Funny thing is that she just agrees and never seemed to ask or contemplate why.
Hello, just became a member here. I am in the same exact situation in our marriage. I am always rejected, and when we do have sex it is like she is just going through the motions. I have tried talking, I have asked her if we should go to some counseling.Her reply was that there is nothing worng, and if I wanted to go I should go.
I have tried everything, read books, asked for advice, tried talking to her and then she gets defensive. Her sex drive is nil, but when we do have sex, somtimes it is mind blowing, but I alwasy have to ask. She will never ask me or make any moves to iniate sex. If I hld her in bed and try to cop a feel, she says she is to tired, or that I am being annoying. I work out several tmes a week, watch what I eat. I even try to get her to work out with me, she wont.
When I say tried everything I mean I have asked her what turns her on, any fantasy, role playing. Do yu find other men sexy, attractive? I have offered to buy porn, lingerie, womens books on fantasy,role playing. She acts offended when I mentioned those ot her. I read information on a womans sex drive. Hormone levels, I know stress, from work and family can affect a sex drive. Oh BTW we have no children!! I do all the cooking for us. I do laundry, the dishes, vacum, dust. Any house work at all, mow the yard, rake the yard, any yard work that needs to be done. I tell her how attractive she is, how sex she looks in a certain pair of jeans. As one of you said, I try to make her feel like a sexy school girl. I flirt with her in public, try my best to make her feel apprectired. I open the car door for her. Pull her chair out when we go to dinner I take her out to nice places for dinner. I even try to make nice romantic dinners at home, candles, wine, music. When I do it, it is a surprise. Then when I am cleaning up the dishes she will say, " I guess you want sex now" What a slap in the face
But on the other hand we do get along. We still have stuff in common that we do togethere. I feel like we are casual friends who know each others dirty secrets.
It has been two months since I have made any advances to her. She has not even brought it up that I have not asked for sex.
I cant tell you how much it hurts. I know she is not getting it on the side anywhere.
I yearn to feel what it is like to be wanted sexually. What would it feel like for my wife to want me. She says there is something wrong with me wanting sex. That people our ages do not have sex every day, or once a week at our ages. Our ages our 40. Damn what wll happen when we get 60?
I even tried to get her to read Ivillage. She said it si all porn to get men to read it. Or it is just made up and the women on here do not enjoy oral sex, anal sex, or sex att all. And that this site is not a true accounting of women in general.
Oh well, life goes on
oh btw way I just realized I posted this message wrong, lol
Ia m at a point where I am ready to walk away from it all. I have even considered an affair, if at all possible. We live in a somewhat small town and both the comapnies we work for are heavily involved in communty activities. So if I were to post an ad on a site she would find out in no time. I have thought about the bar scene, but not many women in this area in their 40s go to a bar to get picked up!!LOL. Maybe I could get lucky and find a younger woman who is into older men... mmm Prob not, I could not have the luck. So I will keep on trudging along untill I either loose it and just leave, or put up with it till I no longer have a sex drive and then there will no longer be a problem....Damn this sounds so depressing!!
Because I love her.I do not feel like starting over in life. We have been togethere for 19 years. I just want her to lust after me. I want us to get over this. This has been slowy getting worse over the years. Maybe I should of bailed years ago. I dont know, maybe I do need therapy!!
I know this is not a detailed answer to your question. But it is the best I can answer at this time.
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I have come to the decision that I will not marry again. Not until some woman can prove to me that it would be worth it, and I doubt that will happen.
Even my present GF has seen this hardening. Earlier years of our relationship i was always discussing marriage. In the last year I have informed her that I no longer feel marriage is worth it. Funny thing is that she just agrees and never seemed to ask or contemplate why.
Hello, just became a member here. I am in the same exact situation in our marriage. I am always rejected, and when we do have sex it is like she is just going through the motions. I have tried talking, I have asked her if we should go to some counseling.Her reply was that there is nothing worng, and if I wanted to go I should go.
I have tried everything, read books, asked for advice, tried talking to her and then she gets defensive. Her sex drive is nil, but when we do have sex, somtimes it is mind blowing, but I alwasy have to ask. She will never ask me or make any moves to iniate sex.
If I hld her in bed and try to cop a feel, she says she is to tired, or that I am being annoying. I work out several tmes a week, watch what I eat. I even try to get her to work out with me, she wont.
When I say tried everything I mean I have asked her what turns her on, any fantasy, role playing. Do yu find other men sexy, attractive? I have offered to buy porn, lingerie, womens books on fantasy,role playing. She acts offended when I mentioned those ot her.
I read information on a womans sex drive. Hormone levels, I know stress, from work and family can affect a sex drive. Oh BTW we have no children!! I do all the cooking for us. I do laundry, the dishes, vacum, dust. Any house work at all, mow the yard, rake the yard, any yard work that needs to be done. I tell her how attractive she is, how sex she looks in a certain pair of jeans. As one of you said, I try to make her feel like a sexy school girl. I flirt with her in public, try my best to make her feel apprectired. I open the car door for her. Pull her chair out when we go to dinner I take her out to nice places for dinner. I even try to make nice romantic dinners at home, candles, wine, music. When I do it, it is a surprise. Then when I am cleaning up the dishes she will say, " I guess you want sex now" What a slap in the face
But on the other hand we do get along. We still have stuff in common that we do togethere. I feel like we are casual friends who know each others dirty secrets.
It has been two months since I have made any advances to her. She has not even brought it up that I have not asked for sex.
I cant tell you how much it hurts. I know she is not getting it on the side anywhere.
I yearn to feel what it is like to be wanted sexually. What would it feel like for my wife to want me. She says there is something wrong with me wanting sex. That people our ages do not have sex every day, or once a week at our ages. Our ages our 40. Damn what wll happen when we get 60?
I even tried to get her to read Ivillage. She said it si all porn to get men to read it. Or it is just made up and the women on here do not enjoy oral sex, anal sex, or sex att all. And that this site is not a true accounting of women in general.
Oh well, life goes on
oh btw way I just realized I posted this message wrong, lol
Hey, JAG, welcome.
Because I love her.I do not feel like starting over in life. We have been togethere for 19 years. I just want her to lust after me. I want us to get over this. This has been slowy getting worse over the years. Maybe I should of bailed years ago. I dont know, maybe I do need therapy!!
I know this is not a detailed answer to your question. But it is the best I can answer at this time.
I agree with LM.
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