What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
What do you think?
12
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 4:01pm
The more I think of this the more I think it was totally rude...when we all went out for our overnighter and actually the last few times we have got together for our trios, our friend has called another friend (a woman) to just chit chat. WE are not ever so bored that we have to talk to someone else while we are together. What do you make of this?
The woman has been a friend of his for quite some time, she is his type but not in looks. SHe is rather large and unattractive. He calls her the buffalo woman. I am not really jealous, but I think that this is rude behavior and it puzzles me. I am going to tell him if he can't be away from his other friends then maybe he should be elsewhere. When we plan for time together it should be for us (ME) not for others. I really would think the same way if he were calling a man. I am a little miffed after thinking about this....thanks for any opinions.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2005
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 4:13pm

I understand how you feel, and I'd feel the same

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 4:26pm

Frankly, I wouldn't want to be with a guy who called another woman "buffalo woman."

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 5:29pm
Maybe I painted the wrong pic of the "buffalo woman"...it is all accepted and is a running joke between Indian race...LOL She is eskimo indian where as our friend is cherokee. He has always called her buffalo woman even to her face...it's more of a racial thing than a put down. He is not the type at all to put people down behind thier backs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 5:32pm

I think it is rude.

I know that if I had planned on spending time with DW and she is making phone calls during our alone time I would be upset about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 5:45pm
Our friend is also going through a lot of trauma right now, I know that he is very stressed and upset inside, should I make allowances for this, and excuse what I call his rude behavior?
I am angry at him, but don't know if I want to say anything at this time. I just don't know what to do. I have never been angry with him before, so I guess this calling other people on OUR time behavior is really bothering me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2006
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 8:05pm

Let me get this straight before I tell you what I think of it (after all...you are soliciting opinions) --

You are offended because your threesome partner (with whom you have no committment to/from other than regular sex) calls a friend of his, who meets some of his emotional and social needs, while he is playing 3rd wheel with you and your DH? You're married to someone, and you three get together for sex and sometimes it's just you two sans husband -- but you don't want him to call a friend?

Is that correct? Am I understanding the situation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 2:36am
Ok!! I know it sounds like I am being selfish...but it IS OUR time together! I have no problem that he calls his friend!! I am SO glad he has more friends to talk with than just us, but he shouldn't do it on OUR TIME! I think it is rude, just like if you invited someone to dinner and after dinner instead of sitting around talking with you..thier host, they got on the phone and called a different friend to talk to. It's the same to me!! RUDE I will not be harsh with him, but will find a way to tell him that we plan for our time, we have to because we have kids, He knows that...and that I feel hurt that he doesn't feel satisfied with our company. DH feels this way too!! He is our best friend...a little more than a threesome partner, he has been there for us, and we have been there for him emotionally, financially and any other way we could be of help. I know that he is going through a lot now and may need others to talk with, but why on our time? I really don't think thats too much to ask of him. He has only done this the last few times we have been together, and I think it may be the stress of things going on with him, makes him sort of "non thinking". LOL
To me this really doesn't have much to do with "what we do" it has to do with etiquette.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2005
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 7:16am
I would feel the same way in any situation I was w/other people and we were spending time together. I think you should call him on it....see what he says. Let us know!!! (i'm just nosey like that..LOL)
Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 9:06am
yeah, if he has extended calls with her, that's rude.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 11:46am
Something terrible happened last night to make all my irritation go away...our friend is forgiven and I will not mention it to him at all. He turned to us in his hour of need and we were there for him. If any of you can say a prayer for healing and comfort we need it for our friend.
Thanks

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