Who else can't resist....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Who else can't resist....
7
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 11:26pm
Hi, I have been married 10 years, and me and Dh's sex life has slowly evolved. It is so hot, so fun, and so great, the only problem is I can't get it enough! I was at first feeling incredibly guilty about the whole 'back door' pleasure....but if DH wanders back their in any way shape or form, I am in a frenzy.

Out of the heat of the moment, he has told me he is uncomfortable with anal sex, mostly because of religious views, (we are both fairly religious) and I think he thinks it is bad, but then with the lights low he tends to instigate it (we have only done a few times, and only in short bouts) and I am incredibly excited about it and then after when we have intercourse I will climax so incredibly!

So to all out there who dare discuss it, what if your mate has issues? What if he says one thing but does another? And has any one else ever been taught that this is wrong or immoral?/ I mean really, we are married, in the privacy of our own home, just between two adults and both (well, at the moment anyway) want it.

Any comments or questions? And while we are at it, any little anal secrets that are incredible? Just wondering..............

Ram

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 3:16am
My wife and I have been practicing anal sex since we first met 11 years ago. Anal was the first way we did it because she wasnt on the pill, and we didnt like condoms, plus we were in the shower, but that is another story ;-)

She has a very conservative background, and was once told by her mother at 18 that she was a slut for being on the oral contraceptive pill.

Now she is a well regarded senior nurse, and doesnt like taking the OCP for health reasons, and other methods of contraception havent worked for us for various reasons.

So, we do it in the back door.

Over breakfast she is shy about the whole thing, but in bed after a few wines she likes her vagina to be 'de-furred', her raunchy lingerie collection to come out, and her very extensive stash of sex-toys to be presented so that the 'action shots' as we call them can be recorded on our digital camera.

Once I have taken a series of pics in different, and totally explicit positions, I then give her my 'business' in the back door. I then wash, while she starts to finish off with the toy or fruit or vegetable of the season in the 'front one' while I continue to take the pics. Sometimes, she likes a big carrot, finger or toy in the back door while she does this, which causes a few problems recording the 'action', but the normal result is an explosive orgasm, and a huge collection of porn never to be seen on the web. This keeps me at home when she works nights, and well and truely prevents me from straying.

We have experienced no health problems from our backdoor adventures (once I was told by an old girl friend that we had to stop doing it anally because it would make her incontinent!), and both find it immensely pleasurable.

An early tactic I took with my wife was taking her out to dinner, and after a lot of champagne, telling her what I liked and didnt like in bed. It cut dinner short (!), but made things very clear where things stood. And we still tell each other what we like, and discuss options. Mind you, a few months ago she was going on about a black man when she was really horny and really drunk, and now denies all knowledge of it, so I guess we still have a way to go.

Good luck with your husband. Be honest with him, and tell him what you want. If he has any sense he will listen, if not, tie him to the bed and show him what you want.



Life is short, remember that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2001
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 4:00am
The one tip that cannot be repeated too often is to observe a basic hygiene rule and never allow an unwashed finger, penis, or sex toy to move from your anus to your vagina or even your clitoris. An infection requiring the attention of your doctor can result.

A good alternative is to keep a supply of condoms for anal penetration. Discarding a condom is a lot easier and less distracting than stopping the action to run to the bathroom for a quick wash.

Another benefit of using a condom for full anal intercourse is that the same rules to protect you from a vaginal or urinary tract infection apply to your DH's urniary tract. I speak from sad experience which included an extended course of antibiotics.

If you and your DH just cannot give up the bareback experience, he should make it a habit to go the bathroom pretty quickly afterward and flush things by urinating. This is not a foolproof method but it does work most of the time.

Beyond making your enjoyment safe, you really might want to invest in some anal sex toys. You just want to use a little common sense when it comes to the size of the toy. Your anus will not stretch as much as your vagina so start small and work your way up til you find your limit. The woman who can accomodate a two inch diameter toy in her anus is about as common as the man with a ten inch penis. If you cannot reach around it with your thumb and middle finger, you are likely to have trouble using it.

Hope this helps,

The Old Flirt.




Edited 4/19/2003 4:01:46 AM ET by geritolflirt

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 1:22pm
Your message read as if I had written it myself. I've been wanting him to provide some "action" back there for years, but didn't have the guts to ask for it. Anytime he strayed near, I let me know I clearly loved it, so I hoped he'd take the hint. Recently we did full blown anal intercourse and afterwards I told him I'd been wanting him to do that, but since then he's shied away from it.

I always thought any man would want it if they could have it -- it never occured to me that he might not want to do it if I was willing! Now I want to incorporate it more often, but he kind of shakes me off if I guide him there. Urrgghh. I'm a pretty conservative woman otherwise, and maybe he has trouble with the adjustment.

Anyway - I understand your frustration! I've been wanting to buy one of those "plugs" just for me, but I'm afraid he'll find it and think I have this big secret sex life or something (or that I'm wierd). So I just satify my desires while masterbating, with a long candle, or something else. Oh well!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 12:50pm
I don't think that there is anything wrong with anal sex. I am divorced (had anal sex a couple of times before with ex-husband), and in a committed relationship with a wonderful man now. When we would start foreplay he would occasionally run his fingers around my butt and near the anus and it really felt good. It then progressed to his inserting his finger in and then we stepped up to the next level. We went out and got a thin vibrator (for anal use) and starting using that. I loved it! Then we had anal sex and I found that if he (or I) also stimpulated my vaginal area at the same time we were having anal sex I would usually always have an orgasm. Also, if I am on myhands and knees and he mounts from behind, I can usually orgasm just from anal penetration alone (the angle is just right!)

Don't let anyone tell you it is wrong. What is done in the bedroom between two consenting adults is fine, as long as both consent! More power to us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 5:37pm
I too luv anal sex, anytime and anywhere. Nothing feels better than having my hubby's 8" unit stuffed deep in my butt. I can climax repeatedly. I have been having anal pleasure since high school. Ramona-you go girl!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 6:20pm
my wife and I enjoy anal as well, she also likes double penetration while I'm in back she uses a sex toy to either stimulate herself or she put it in her vagina and we both are stimulated by it. It has added a new demension to our sex life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Sun, 04-27-2003 - 2:01pm
Well, as you can see I am still blushing, but I am feeling a little more informed. (Who can you really talk to about this anyway???) Thank you for the reminders about hygiene (I haven't thought about that ) and also the pointers on a samll toy or vibtator. I really think that he might go for that. We have a cute little risque' shop down on main street- I guess it is time to go pay a visit....

Anyway, thanks everyone, plus thanks for the other post from the women who enjoys a little wild sex but her husband is timid--- that is comforting to know I am not the only wife gently trying to coax her husband out into a little bit more adventure in the bedroom. Ciao' !

Ramona