why men marry........

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2005
why men marry........
29
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 10:52pm
I have a theory...seems to tie in with some recent threads and I"m a long-time lurker. I see a lot of posts where men seem to be with women that have practically a nil sex drive. I think that men marry when they want to settle down...and they often do not think about compatability, etc. I think men marry because they think a women will be a good 'wife' and do not think about a woman as a life partner or how she might mesh with him when things get rough...etc... You often seee these women as letting themselves go.
Often, men seem to marry women that they are increasingly disenchanted with as the years go by....and they crave what they do not have....
Affairs result. Then divorce.
What say you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 3:05pm

"My dh knew that I wasn't good "wife" material, lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 3:10pm

And my advice for women would be - "The first year you are married, every time he gives you a compliment without being asked, every time he brings you flowers, every time he takes you out without you having to beg, put a dollar in a jar.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 3:11pm
LOL! My wife hated to cook, was a slob, and her finances were in shambles...she was really good in the sack though! Now I eat well, our finances are in very good order, house is tidy and we are all well cared for. Is it one or the other? Well then, let me trip over clothes, eat tuna helper, refinance the house for the fourth time and have that wicked smile on my face everywhere I go and let them think...what has that guy got?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 3:18pm
"Well then, let me trip over clothes, eat tuna helper, refinance the house for the fourth time and have that wicked smile on my face everywhere I go and let them think...what has that guy got?!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 3:24pm

LOL - You're so right.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 3:50pm

"1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!"

LOL ...Ahhh yes. After 16 years of marriage, I have learned this pretty well. Although I do find myself hinting around from time to time, I usually catch myself and just spit it out.

It's so true. Why do alot of women insist on doing this? I dunno...but it makes me think of "Home Improvement" when Tim Taylor does a segment on his show Tool Time about what street signs would say if women wrote them.

One was: IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO RIGHT NOW

LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 3:53pm
Woo hoo! I'll say amen to that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 3:58pm
I am so with talbed on the neat house. Give me sex and a messy house any day rather than neatness and no sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2002
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 4:35pm
Point well taken Jazz and I am working on that after 12 years of marriage. Trying to hug a little more, kiss a little more and trying to help around the house.
also try to be less of an a#@Hole
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 5:13pm
Interesting thought caroline. I know my wife harbors an attraction to black men. When she brought one home, her father refused to enter the same room until the man left the house - never met him. She said interracial relationships could not happen...just not accepted. Well, for her it was true in her home - not in society in general. I was a more "acceptable" option for sure.