2 differnt ideas of rough

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2007
2 differnt ideas of rough
8
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 11:58am
Okay, I am new here , and kinda embarassed to post. I have been lurking looking for an answer to my dilemma. Me and H have totally different ideas of what rough is. I have tried giving subtle hints while DTD like placing his hands on my neck, or biting him in hopes for a return but no luck. My sex drive has spiked since I had my baby and I can't stop fantasizing about it. I have had some very rough sex before and loved it. So how do I get him to try some new things, I don't want to have to put it out there in black and white cause that kinda takes the fun away from it. Any advice??
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 12:11pm

You might try a Google search for "BDSM: A Guide for Nice Guys" and then mention the site to him. Ask what he thought about it. Tell him you thought it was sort of interesting. It might be just the thing to head him in the right direction. This way, you're leading him to the water but not trying to make him drink.

At a minimum, it should be a way to open a dialog.

Hope this helps

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 10:28pm
I would think that if you were having sex and then told him to bite you he'd get the hint.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2008
Mon, 07-28-2008 - 7:19am
You've gotten some good input, but I would suggest talking to him outside the bedroom to really communicate.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 07-28-2008 - 7:45am

Hi and welcome itattookitten. It's so nice to meet you. I am glad you came out of lurkdom, although you do realize that once you come out you can't go back.... lol... The people here are awesome, so stick around and jump in anytime.


You've gotten some great advice. Do check out the website that was given to you and have hubby look at it with you. It is something you need to talk about away from the bedroom. Why not some day just ask him what his fantasies are, then take it from there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Mon, 07-28-2008 - 8:32am
Hi there...I think I mgiht eb able to help with this particular dilemma, having been there myself once upon a time. DH and I have been together 11 years now, and there was a time when i discovered my affinity for pain (while getting a tattoo no less lol)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2008
Mon, 07-28-2008 - 9:04am
I had a very similar problem. I was curious to try things more on the rough side, but my bf just didn't seem to get it. And I didn't want to say anything, because the idea of it is that I have less control in that situation, and by telling him what I wanted it was pretty much me being in control anyway. So I tried to take a more erotic path to dropping not-so-subtle hints. I was online one night and he started joking with me and saying I was checking out porn. So I just went with it... I ended up sitting down with him and we looked at some sites. And I navigated around and found stories where the guy was taking control and being aggressive. At that point, he finally noticed the things that were getting me excited. The next time we had sex, I felt like one of the girls in the stories we were reading! It was great! I've been with him for a long time and sex was getting a little boring honestly. But after that, it totally sparked a new interest for me and sex has been so much fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Mon, 07-28-2008 - 9:08am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 07-28-2008 - 9:49am

Hi and welcome erin. Nice to meet you. Will you please fill in your profile so we can know something about you? Thanks a million! Stick around and jump in anytime, the people here are great!


I'm glad to hear that things are going good. But telling him what you want doesn't mean you're in control.



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