To B true to oneself?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
To B true to oneself?
38
Sun, 05-04-2008 - 7:51am

ok all here I go again with some more questions :)


Do you find online you can be whomever you want?


In real life are you the same person, would you say the same things you say online?


Are you as open with you daily friends and family as you are with people on this board?


Personally I have a hard time speaking up for myself in daily events offline. Any suggestions on how one can be true to oneself?


Let me put it this way, on this board everyone is great! I have never run accross any judgement but in real life I feel I am judged every day. Yes I have some very negative people in my life and some of them are family. So on this board I can say what

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 8:12am

Hi Sister thank you so much we are so much alike.


"I understand completely where you are coming from. I grew up in a family where I was raised to be a good girl, where I was raised to basically be seen and not heard, where if I expressed my opinion I was shot down. So in essence I lived my life trying to blend in with the woodwork. I didn't speak up, I walked with my head bowed, I let people walk all over me."


That is me to a tee. Now over the past 3 years I have changed quite a bit. Infact I had a baby that NOONE wanted me to have. But I do understand he good girl children are to be seen and not heard. I think most people see me as the easy going push over. My hubby also has tried for years to sabatoge my going to school or even work. It is a never ending battle. He is addicted to viccodin and you know how an addiction can try to run the whole family's life. He is a very passive aggressive person and daily I spend a lot of energy trying to stay ahead of what he is doing. I am doing my best to get to the place to get him out of my life for good. We haven't been in love in years.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 8:19am
NH thank you for your reply. It is a hard battle to over come being a people pleaser. I think because of my upbringing I find myself concerned what others think. It does hurt me to the core when others are mad at me. But I haven't give up and work daily on being true to myself and not let the "bad seeds" get to me. On a good note the one person who is causing me a lot of problems is moving so hopefully that will help. I do believe I need to go to therapy to work threw many things in my life. In general I am not a depressed person.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 8:21am

Than you all for such insiteful words! Today is a better day! I so appreciate all your friendship it means so much to me!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-1998
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 8:45am
I don't mind at all...it's a compliment...Thank you







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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 9:44am

Lori..........I didn't respond until now because I wanted to wait and see what the others had to say.

It's very easy to tell right from wrong.  Wrong is the FUN one.           

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 9:45am

Do you find online you can be whomever you want?-Online I am the same as I am offline. I am a straight forward person and usually tell it like it is. I dont believe in your online persona being much different. IMHO it should be an extension of your real self. I can see however, a shy person using the anonymity of the online world to be bolder and more expressive.


In real life are you the same person, would you say the same things you say online?- Yes, usually. As with anything there are certain people that you cannot discuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 10:01am

Just remember that you are the only person that can stand up and speak for yourself. If you do not stand up and do it, no one else will. It is hard at first especially if you are shy. But if you keep on doing it, it will get easier. Speak the truth and if you make a mistake fess up. That is probably the hardest part for most people, admitting that you made a mistake.


GM FG....


Very well said!

 



  


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 1:58pm
Thank you Muff!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 2:02pm

FG, your words are so true! I dont' know if I am so much shy as much as I like to avoid conflict.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 3:54pm
I understand. Sometimes though conflict can be good if handled constructively.