Chuckles....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Chuckles....
1
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 1:35pm

Disgracing the Family

There was a young virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

Her grandmother say, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like it, but don't let him do that."

She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like it, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

Then the grandmother said, "But most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date, and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it. The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."

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You caught my eye

A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his hand out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.

"Is this yours?" he asked.

She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.

On arrival she was very profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm about to have dinner. There's plenty, would you like to join me?"

He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?"

The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you meet?"

"No," she replied, "only the ones who catch my eye."



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 1:41pm

Blame it on the dog

A married man decided to work late to be with his sexy secretary, so he called his wife to make up an excuse.

After work he invited his secretary to dinner. It soon became obvious that he was going to get lucky, so the two went back to her apartment and had great sex for two hours.

Afterward the fellow went to the bathroom to straighten up for the trip home and noticed a huge hickey on his neck. He panicked, wondering what to tell his wife.

After the man unlocked his front door, his dog came bounding to greet him. Aha, the man thought, and promptly fell to the carpet, pretending to fight off the affectionate animal. Holding his neck with one hand, he said, "Honey, look what the dog did to my neck!"

"Hell," she answers, ripping open her blouse. "Look what he did to my tits!"



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006