Determining what to share

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010
Determining what to share
65
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 3:39am

I've become aware that some fantasies translate better into "real world" sex play than others. Also there are also some fantasies that should stay private and not be shared with one's partner. my gf has the gift of knowing which of her fantasies should be kept to herself, which are likely to be successful and which should just remain fantasies. I'm new to the concept of sharing what's going on in my head that way so I dont always get it right. as a matter of fact the first time i tried to bring a fantasy i'd had into our sex life it was a disaster. my question is, how do you determine if a fantasy is likely to translate well into erotic role play or if it should just stay as fantasy. also how do people decide if something is appropriate to share with their partners or if they should keep it private?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 4:20pm

It is a funny story.. I'll see if I can recreate at some point..

definitely! i'd love to read it and when i told my gf about it she laughed and said she can just imagine how a scenario like that would go.

I have always been into role playing, and i'm aware of that book. I just can't imagine how much fun that cold be :smileywink: Especially with the right group.. I do wish I had gotten the missus into the role playing games some.. might help with getting her to role play with just me :smileywink:

my gf's nephew and i

Photobucket "If we cannot
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2011
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 5:30pm
She does like renaissance fairs so that has potential ;) Hmmmm... And to get the right costume ;)

And we are workign on that but the "watch the kids" time is few and far in between for us. Like close to once amonth. We're working on it though..
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 8:57pm

Does your GF have huge tracts of land? Plenty of Ren garb out there to show them off! Master and I always go in garb to the Ren faire and my belly dancing garb shows off my huge tracts of land rather well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2011
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 9:01pm
She used to, and I think with a little creative costuming, we can still pull that off ;) Something that pushed up whats left.. and accentuate her hips and bottom would work well ;) Good idea and thank you ;) (Belly dancing garb.. *Sigh* :) )

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 9:11pm

She does like renaissance fairs so that has potential :smileywink: Hmmmm... And to get the right costume :smileywink:

there are usually places where you can rent costumes until she figures out her niche. most of the ladies like to wear sexy garb that shows off their "endowments". my girl is the exception lol. but she pulls off sexy anyway even though she looks all piratey. :smileywink: and if you can ham it up a little she might

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 8:49am

That's just it, the feelings have been romantic between us from day one. moreso on my part really because it took her some time to warm up to me. but as my mom says "we had a very strong reaction to each other" from the second we made eye contact. i know most people think that love at first sight is a myth and logically i would agree, but that's what happened. i thought girls were annoying and for the most part i was a quiet kid and wasn't much of a tease. i got teased alot because i was big for my age and my lips were a little big for my face (thank God I grew into them) so i only had two good buddies (my gf's nephews). the day i met her my mom was visiting my gf's sister and i was watching tv with my gf's nephews. they were excited that there aunt was coming to visit. when my gf and her mom walked in the door i got tunnel vision. she was in jeans and tennis shoes, had this long wild hair, was carrying a skateboard and was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen. i wanted her to notice me and i became uncharacteristically devilish and began teasing her. she glared at me and told me to go away or she was going to hurt me. i wanted to kiss her and she wanted to strangle me. go figure. i won her over though. my mom took pity on me after my gf dumped a glass of toxic waste (aka buttermilk) over my head and told me that she'd been told that my gf was a sucker for strawberry ice cream. after that she let me call her my girlfriend and put my arm around her. :smileyvery-happy: things got ambiguous when we hit puberty though. lots of things unsaid between us. we still held hands and during the summers when I'd visit, all of us kids would sleep in a tent out in her brother's yard. my gf and I always just unzipped our sleeping bags and turned them into a double and slept in the same bed. we never had sex or anything but we just liked being together. after i graduated high school i moved to her town to go to college. she was a senior in high school that year so i got to take her to homecoming. that was really cool. but I screwed things up between us over the next couple of years and kind of lost her. we never stopped loving each other even though we've had relationships with other people and we've always been very close in each other's lives (her oldest son was born on my 24th birthday and i got to be in the delivery room for his birth and got to hold him right after he was born. it was the coolest thing. that's how close we've been). however, the transition from what we had before to becoming lovers has been, as you said, tricky water to tread especially considering that she was afraid of being intimately involved in a romantic relationship and had decided she was done with love. the hardest part was getting the courage to tell her how i feel. after that i have had no problem telling her my feelings but sexually i've been pretty shy when it comes to talking about it. she's just the opposite.

What you wrote here is probably the most wonderful and romantic thing I've read in a long time. You don't know how happy I am for the two of you.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 11:02am

What you wrote here is probably the most wonderful and romantic thing I've read in a long time. You don't know how happy I am for the two of you. Please always be true to and take care of each other.

Oh believe me i've learned from my screw ups. we both feel really lucky to have found our way back to each other. i've never had anyone be as good to me as she is and i do my best to be good to her. it's just that she brings out this devilish streak in me

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 4:26pm

Nothing wrong with that, as long as you both are having fun.,



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 5:51pm

Nothing wrong with that, as long as you both are having fun.,

oh yeah you'd think so until she's chasing me out of the house with a broom lol. but yeah she'd think i was sick if i wasn't a little ornery ::smileyvery-happy:

Photobucket "If we cannot
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2011
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 9:08am
We aren't quite old enough for the sleep over stage yet. Not Complaining, just mentally working out logistics :)

I'm finding it interesting lately that i've really been very emotionally raw lately. I'm a very controlled person, very.. slow to anger, patient, thoughtful, and generally, tilting at windmills :) So fairly optimistic.. But since the libido switch got turned back on in her.. I'm finding I'm starving for affection.. Not even sex really, just being in the same room, preferabbly with some physcial contact, even if its ankle to ankle, and connectiing in a personal way, whether its talking or playing a game, or even (gasp! I feel old) reading in bed together..

It doesn't help that she seems to get lately that some intimacy does also involve near naked cuddling, a good long kiss every once in a while, the occasional flashing of boobs, or even just a quick nibble on the ear and the words "I wish we were alone right noooowwwww"..

But it still floors me how kind of vulnerable and almost "needy" I feel now, just for the time we spend.. in a meaningful way. i'm not sure it was ever quite like this...

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