Determining what to share

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010
Determining what to share
65
Thu, 06-09-2011 - 3:39am

I've become aware that some fantasies translate better into "real world" sex play than others. Also there are also some fantasies that should stay private and not be shared with one's partner. my gf has the gift of knowing which of her fantasies should be kept to herself, which are likely to be successful and which should just remain fantasies. I'm new to the concept of sharing what's going on in my head that way so I dont always get it right. as a matter of fact the first time i tried to bring a fantasy i'd had into our sex life it was a disaster. my question is, how do you determine if a fantasy is likely to translate well into erotic role play or if it should just stay as fantasy. also how do people decide if something is appropriate to share with their partners or if they should keep it private?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 4:28pm

it isn't so much about being needy as it is about keeping your emotional

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2011
Sat, 06-18-2011 - 1:07am
I like to think i'm a romantic.. So lately I've tried to be very touchy/feely/kissy even, but not initiate much in the way of sex, just make naughty/flirty comments. I think she appreciates it.. I still feel.. nervous sometimes..
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010
Sat, 06-18-2011 - 11:34am

I get what you mean! My gf is much less shy than i am when it comes to sex. Even being in a relationship with her I still stop short of actually initiating alot of the time. She says i'm a flirt and a tease. but

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2011
Sat, 06-18-2011 - 3:40pm
I would initiate alot, but I think its mostly unwelcome when I do.. but showing I want her but dont "have to have it" all the time makes her feel more wanted than instead of a place to put my penis..

I dunno..
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2010
Sat, 06-18-2011 - 4:55pm

Actually that's a good way to approach it. i sometimes worry that my gf is going to think my feelings are based totally on sex because we're all over each other most of the time when i go to see her most weekends. but before we got together we'd both been celibate for long periods (me: by choice for 5 years and her: not by choice for 13 years). add to that being hot for each other since adolescence and it having been 16 years since we hooked up and you have a recipe for a two-person orgy every chance we get lol. so i've been trying to mix it up and do things like take her out for non-sexual activities and then tease the hell out of her while we're out. she's loving my levi's this weekend btw. she took my son and I to see Thor last night (for Father's day) and that was really cool. i think women, no matter how sexually charged they are, appreciate being flirted with and teased a bit. after all, sex is just as much psychological as it is physical IMHO.

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