FANTASIES AND SEXUAL ATTRACTION

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
FANTASIES AND SEXUAL ATTRACTION
6
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 10:22am

i recently had a sexual fantasy involving my boss and i do not find him attractive physically. before this fantasy that i had, i never really had any sexual thoughts towards him and we worked together for 2 years. he is about 10 years older than i am and not the type of guy that i normally am attracted to. he is short and kind of skinny. he kind of looks like david spade but older, and shorter hair. he is a really nice guy though. i got into a fantasy a couple of weeks ago that he "took" me and we were having intercourse on my desk. i was so hot and wet from that. (even now when i think of it, it still turnes me on!) i don't know if maybe it is the naughtyness of the fantasy, like doing "it" at work, and maybe because i have not been "taken" in so long espeacially coerced by a boss, and he just happened to be there (we were working overtime for a sudden project that we had to get out to our clients.) but i don't think i would want to *touch* his body, the fantasy would have to focus on him pleasuring me. i feel that i would have to be physically attracted to a man if i was to desire to *touch* his body. i don't know if maybe i am attracted to my boss and don't know it? he is married though, so nothing could happen anyway.

i was wondering, could you get into, turned on, by an erotic fantasy with somebody that does not turn you on by their looks? or would a person have to be a turn-on to you visually to fantasize about them?

if you saw this person that otherwise does not turn you on by their looks, would the fantasy have to be focused on this person pleasing you sexually or some naughty appeal like having sex in a public place with this person with people watching or could you be turned on by focusing on pleasing this person sexually, (rubbing their body, making out, performing oral,etc.)

the fantasy does not bother me, but it just puzzels me because it's him, as i stated before is not a hunk. now i can't get this fantasy out of my head! i was wondering if other people experienced this or if you need to be attracted to the person that you fantasize about.




Edited 2/28/2005 10:45 am ET ET by wowwowwowwow
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 6:12pm

I did. I disliked him from before I actually met him. I had heard so much about him. After a year of knowing him I started to have fantasies about him. Recurring and frequent fantasies. I only saw him maybe 4 times a year and spoke on the phone about once a month. The first time I saw him after the fantasies began I LMAO, he looked so funny. Hair too short and a weird mustache and he had on a kelly green sports coat. But our phone conversations had increased and we flirted a lot.

I became friends with him and we went out a bit, I really fell for him.
The relationship went full circle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 9:06pm

Heck yeah. I think one of the key elements in my fantasies is "out of the norm" stuff. Places I wouldn't really do it (work), people I would never do it with (boss - or other person attractive or unattractive) and things I would never do (take on 6 men in an elevator)....


Jennie


WELCOME to the board!!! Great screen name!

MadsenFallSiggy3.png picture by jenniemadsen1

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 9:07pm
Morse - who is "him'?

MadsenFallSiggy3.png picture by jenniemadsen1

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 10:18pm
He was an extramarital romance at work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 11:26am

hi! i have some questions if you wouldn't mind...

>would you say that you were sexually attracted to him but not for his looks?

> what other attributes turned you on? was it his personality or other attributes what made him become sexy to you?

>were your fantasies of him different from the fantasies or desires you had for men that you did find more physically appealling?

>if you had the chance to have sex with him now (assuming no reprocussions), would you do it?

sometimes if a man is charismatic enough, we can find them sexy even though they are not a hunk. has anyone ever seen the movie Frida? frida's husband diego, was a ladies man womanizer, and i can not see what women would have "seen" in him. i still can't get my boss off my mind. i don't know, maybe for me it is his personality and i didn't get a chance to really know him well until we had to work together more. i hope that this will stop.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 10:02pm

>would you say that you were sexually attracted to him but not for his looks?
His looks were not even noticed by me until long after I fantasized and fell for him. In fact I had a primarily telephone relationship with him before the fantasies started.

> what other attributes turned you on? was it his personality or other attributes what made him become sexy to you?
His personality, his wit, we had an incredible sense of timing together, from day one we were like an long time happily married couple, same interests, a special chemistry. He fostered my confidence and self-esteem and that was hot.

>were your fantasies of him different from the fantasies or desires you had for men that you did find more physically appealling?
Until him I was not much of a fantasizer. But I will say that I now see things in other men that remind me of him and arouse me.

>if you had the chance to have sex with him now (assuming no reprocussions), would you do it?
In my case, a relationship formed beyond the work one, we went out, we were in each others arms and kissed. We stopped short of having the affair. He has moved on to another job, and we are not attempting to rekindle anything, but if our paths bring us back to each other someday and I fell the way I did about him back then; I don't know if I'll go for it, but I am not ruling it out.




Edited 3/1/2005 10:30 pm ET ET by morsegal