Hard questions, try to give imput
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Hard questions, try to give imput
| Wed, 05-14-2008 - 5:02pm |
Try if you can to answer this question or maybe just give some ideas.
Is there anything you can think of that helped you be more sexually open?
How were you able to take the fantasies from you mind and bring them into the bedroom? If not the whole fantasy maybe just parts of it?
Do you believe you SO had anything to do with you being able to be sexually open?
If you have a HL and you mate has LL how do you deal with it? If you are not having sex as often as you like do you feel your relationship suffers?
I know these are hard and yes I will answer but I just need a bit more time.


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Lori, I've been reading your posts here and I just wanted to tell you that I know what you are going through. I am sorry that you are having to face this. I've been married twice. My first husband was an alcoholic/drug addict. He started out with pot, then went to shooting up meth and by the end I believe that he was smoking crack. I was married to him for 10 years and I was finally able to break free when I was literally running for my life after he attempted to murder me. In a small sense, my situation was a little easier than yours, because I didn't have any children to protect. But I had some really great friends who helped me out. My family was 5 hours away and they wouldn't have been any help anyway. To this day my mother has no idea what all went on in my marriage and I never told my father the truth before he died.
Believe me when I say this, divorce is not the end of the world. If I had not managed to get away from my ex I would most likely be 6 feet under right now. I haven't seen my ex in 10 years and if I never see him again it will be too soon. He was still an addict at 40 and he probably still is at 50, if the drugs haven't killed him yet.
It is possible to find love again. It is possible to find happiness and a man who deserves you. I know that others will probably tell you this as well, but give yourself some time to yourself, some time to devote to discovering who you are and what you want. Don't immediately jump into another relationship as soon as the ink is dry on your divorce papers. I did that and I ended up with someone just like
If it feels good, do it
Is there anything you can think of that helped you be more sexually open? -yes actually, I started reading more and watching more...and I turned 44..(huh..just made a rhyme.ha,ha), well my libido just skyrocketed so that was pretty much it...
How were you able to take the fantasies from you mind and bring them into the bedroom? If not the whole fantasy maybe just parts of it?-I know this is same old same old, but communication..I just really talked about the things I wanted to try and do....
Do you believe you SO had anything to do with you being able to be sexually open? Actually not at first, he isnt really one to talk about these things, so at first it made it harder to talk, but I am the open say what I please type...you know diva like...ha,ha...anyhoo...once we did start talking it was great, and we both were able to open up...that is why I think it really helped push our relationship to a new level.
If you have a HL and you mate has LL how do you deal with it? If you are not having sex as often as you like do you feel your relationship suffers? as I said above...my libido soared once I reached 44, and then the roles reversed and I was the HL and he became the LL..mother nature is cruel in this regard...anyhoo...I think because we both were in the others shoes already, this helped us to understand each other better....I know what it feels like to have a lower LL and have someone bug for it all the time....so because of this I am able to be a bit more patient and not excpect it all the time...and the same for him...he is willing to put out a bit more and go the extra distance because he says he knows what it feels like to want to have it and not be able to..so he says he doesnt want me to have to feel that way and he wants me to be happy...so we have happily enlisted the help of a few toys which has worked out great......
Sandi thank you for your reply, you have some great insite
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I agree about the true friends! I am staying strong and not letting this all get me down. Taking it one day at a time
Is there anything you can think of that helped you be more sexually open? Yes, when sex started to get less often, I started to read and discuss on the boards in order to put spice back in the bedroom.
How were you able to take the fantasies from you mind and bring them into the bedroom? If not the whole fantasy maybe just parts of it? I can visualize and verbalize pretty good. I have brought several fantasies of mine and it turns out hers into our sex life.
Do you believe you SO had anything to do with you being able to be sexually open? Yes, had we not started having a dry spell, I would not have gone seeking advice and getting seeds to plant for fantasies.
If you have a HL and you mate has LL how do you deal with it? If you are not having sex as often as you like do you feel your relationship suffers? I make daily attempts to get her in the mood, but find other avenues to relieve my needs. Yes, I think that we are not as close.
Also, I find that the personality makes someone sexy, not their size.
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