How far is too far?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
How far is too far?
29
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 9:17am

OK..all the BDSM talk yesterday got me to thinking..dangerous prospect, I know ~wink~....however I am wondering in terms of sexual activity...how far is too far? What are your limits...how far are you willing to let things go? What are your "hard limits", as we call them, things you absolutly won't do...what do you fantasise about doing but would never actually do in real life? Just some questions...


~smile~

Lothiriel


death3.jpg sandman death image by rst001


Death: You get what everyone gets....you get a lifetime.....

lothmaybe1.jpg

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 10:46am

For me personally my hard limits include no children, animals, scat or golden showers. Anal sex is hard limit for me as well, because of my IBS and anal sex would just make that worse. Anal play is fine, but no actual anal sex with Master. I also don't want any other women involved, because I am not bi and have no desire or fantasies to being with a woman. I enjoy age play and love Daddy/baby girl scenes with Master, but being an adult baby would be a bit too much for me, I think. I would really enjoy being shared with another Dom (heck, several of them at once), but that is something that I know Master would not go for at all, so that remains in fantasy. That's why W/we write erotica together, because O/our couples do all the things W/we fantasize about and W/we can safely explore those activites that way.


One of the things O/our fictional characters get to do is be in poly relationships. I can understand it intellectually, but I don't think that I could handle it emotionally. I'm one of those women who are hardwired into equating sex with love and I would have a difficult time accepting Master being with another woman. Other women can handle that and more power to them. I'm not one of them. There are some aspects of edge play, particularly blood play, knife play, electrical play, that I'm not sure if I want to explore them or not. Right now those are soft limits, as is public play at a dungeon or club.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 11:24am
No animals, no children, no scat, nothing nonconsensual, nothing that would cause any of the participants any permanent harm, nothing illegal (well, except for violating the sodomy laws in various states).


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 1:03pm
my dh and i were speaking of this last night. Boy did i find some things out. there is alot that he will not do. But for me its okay......(sad i know) But i understand to a certain degree. He was brought up by this strict catholic lady thats just oblivious to knowing how to raise anyone........(NO OFFENSE to anyone)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 2:45pm
Hehe..interesting just the BDSM folks responded

Lothiriel


death3.jpg sandman death image by rst001


Death: You get what everyone gets....you get a lifetime.....

lothmaybe1.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 5:12pm

Well, anything that true BSMD guys/gals would do would probably be off limits to me in regards to pain, humiliation, welts, candle wax, sharing with dommes, bruises...painful .. anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 5:45pm
We're the ones that have thought about things like hard limits before reading the thread.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 8:43am

Ok, the typical no gogoldenhowers, no scat, no children, no animals, no choking,no humiliation, no flogging...but yes to spanking and some pain, some aggressive behavior with the dom.

But I always joke about pleasure and pain and the fine line there is.At gym I go to there is a guy who wears a t-shirt that says,"Pain is weakness leaving the body" true in a sense.

Recently I have had some interest in BDSM. I have thought what it would be like to role play in a domination like setting.Like the wife be the Dom and I am ordered around the house to do chores naked, or even clothed. Be rewarded with servicing her me or me pleasing her.
But also maybe when she is rewarding me I am being punished at the same time.Like not being a allowed to come, or if I did not service her good enough,or get her off fast enough I am punished..Spanking!!

But I do not think the wife has what it takes, the drive to even try to be a Dom in a role play situation.Hell she does not even have a sex drive.

So I am left to read, write and fantasize about it. I do picture in my mind the wife in dressed in the traditional black clothing, riding crop, paddle, etc. I find it strangely erotic...hmmm somehow the books of "The Taming of Sleeping Beauty" come in mind!!!LOL

male65401

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the thingsyou didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines.Sail away from the safe harbor.Catch the trade winds in your
sails.Explore. Dream.Discover" ...

resize2.jpg image by Roy5k2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 9:08am

"Pain is weakness leaving the body"......wise man that Bruce Lee ~wink~


So male, what sparked your interest in BDSM? I see you're not that into pain, which isn't a big deal. There are plenty of folks out there in a D/s relationship who don't incorporate pain into their play at all. Some people just aren't wired for that kind of thing. What is it that intrigues you so much? Just curious.

Lothiriel


death3.jpg sandman death image by rst001


Death: You get what everyone gets....you get a lifetime.....

lothmaybe1.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 9:42am

I think some pain is ok, hot wax on chest, ice, spanking with a stern hand.

I do not know what it intrigues me. I think I might be mixing up BDSM with rough sex with BDSM. I think it would be hot for my wife do be dressed in a Dom outfit and be dominated.Like be made to do stuff around the house,and lets say I did mop the floors to her liking. So then I would somehow be punished, Ima not sure in what manner. Spanking maybe, or made to get on my hands and kness to do it over while she tands over me masturbating...Ok just lots of ideas running in my mind.

For some reason the thought of my wife in some form of black dress, corset, leather, heels, fishnets, riding crop and her being aggressive turn me on.But I think to get the real affect it would have to be in some kind of role play of her dominating me with reward and punishement.The punishment can also in ways be a reward.Where I have to service/please her for as long as she wants...Or she services/pleases me but I am not allowed to come...
Stuff like that. Maybe it is because I know my wife does not have it in her to do something like that. Maybe it is one of those fantasies I have, among others.

Or maybe it is that I am looking for sexually agressive female who goes after what she wants.
Maybe Im intrigued because I know the wife could/would never do this

Male65401

AKA BB lol

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the thingsyou didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines.Sail away from the safe harbor.Catch the trade winds in your
sails.Explore. Dream.Discover" ...

resize2.jpg image by Roy5k2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 9:43am

Good morning to all you FB'ers......TGIF.


I'm not a regular poster here, or for that matter any board right now, but the question Lothiriel poses caught my attention. So I would like to just say that I firmly believe that nothing is "off limits" between 2 people, whether they happen to enjoy the BDSM lifestyle or not.


Pain is different for us all don't you think. I have a high tolerance for it, so depending on what my lover may want or expect from me, there's not much, if any, activity I wouldn't gladly sign up for.


I've fantasized about being tied up and flogged naked on the corner of Main & Broadway...but it'll never happen...lol.


As long as two people are comfortable with each other, I see no reason whatsoever why anything would be off limits between them. What sounds kinky and disgusting to some, may, in fact, be very welcomed and anticipated by others.


How's that old expression we've all heard go? Ah yes......It's only kinky the first time.....:)


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