If your mate cheated?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
If your mate cheated?
25
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 3:41pm

Hey Everyone:


I have a question for all of you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 6:12pm
I have been in that situation and we divorced - I could not trust him again in that way. He remarried and cheated on his second wife too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2008
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 6:45pm
I have never been cheated on but I think I would leave. I would be too hurt. I would not be able to be with my partner in the same way or trust them again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 8:18pm
I would divorce Him. I have never trusted anyone more than I trust Master. I trust Him implicitly and with my love and my life. If He ever broke that trust, whether it be a one night stand or a long term affair, He would be out of my life, with no chance of returning to a relationship with me. I would be too hurt and too angry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-1998
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 8:52pm

In my first marriage my husband cheated on me and I stayed. I will say if it has never happened to you, you never know

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 9:16pm
I can't say it would be 100% — I tend not to trust 'absolute' statements that are made about a situation that's theoretical, rather than one that's staring you in the face — but I would have a strong bias to leave if I was cheated on. A lot would depend on the circumstances surrounding the cheating and what led to her feeling the need to step outside our relationship.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 9:21pm

Well, an affair is different than a one-night stand, and I think it all depends on the situation. I know my husband had a one-nighters many, many years ago. He never knew that I found out. We are still together. I believe like LR said, a one-nighter is just for sex. There are no emotions involved, whereas I believe in an affair there is. I've also had one-timers with a couple of different people.


Please don't anyone say anything. I've already heard enough about it on another board.. I have no respect, dignity, and I should just leave my husband...


Is this something that has happened to you? Do you want to tell us the story?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 9:36pm

Just sex or an emotional affair?











iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 9:55pm
I try and make it a point not to judge anyone whose shoes I haven't walked in.

{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 10:37pm

I try and make it a point not to judge anyone whose shoes I haven't walked in.


Perfectly stated Steve.


None of us knows how we will react until faced with this situation. We can all hypothetically imagine what we would do but when it comes down to it...we just don't know.


I will say that for as much as I abhor lying and cheating I would never in a million years think critically of a woman (or man) who chose to stay in a marriage after an affair was discovered. There are a great many reasons someone might chose to fight and remain married and none of them would have any bearing at all on the individuals sense of worth or self respect or strength.


It's a choice made by the couple and is not to be judged by the rest of us.


Indeed.


Mrs P

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 7:13am
Thank you... especially for the hugs....

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