is it ok to fantasize when married?
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is it ok to fantasize when married?
| Thu, 02-28-2008 - 3:30am |
is it ok for me to fantasy with a family friend about having sex... etc when i am married all we do it just play out fantasys on the computer he is married and i am too but hes older than me is it ok.. it kinda turns me on just thinking about the fantasys that we come up with i like talkin to him and we both are attracted to each other in a

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So by your recent post it seems like you hubby just doesn't want to play in the fantasy world with you. Then you have to ask yourself: If hubby found out what I am doing, what would happen? and Is what I am doing worth Hubby finding out? I said that because chances are some way some how hubby will find out and then you will have to deal with it. This will be a secret over your shoulder forever. There are so many ways he could find out and God forbid down the road you and the friend have a falling out and he tells your husband, you always run that risk (even though you think it would never happen, it might). Please understand I am not judging you I am just asking you to look at the full picture. I have done the same thing you are doing now but I don't care if my hubby finds out. But that is me. Think long and hard, I would hate for this to ruin your relationship with hubby and then you realize it wasnt' worth it all.
I have to add this because it came to my mind. I understand your hubby isn't giving you what you need. Just because he is not playing in the fantasy world with you, doesnt' mean a person would start up something with someone else. What made you decided to exchange these email with the other man? Much less a close friend? Do you think deep down you are trying to hurt your husband? You must have some sort of attraction or something to start up emailing the friend. You ended your post with "something else??" Many times we can mistake feelings when it is actually just lust. I am not sure if you answered this but is the friend married?
I am going to be blut and give you my opinion, I am sorry if I get this all wrong and know that I am not trying to be mean. ok here goes: I think you and hubby are suffering in the sex life, there maybe issues of hurt going on. (lets face it a woman becomes hurt when she is rejected). You found a man who will talk open with you and the two of you are maybe attracted to eachother on a lust level. This fantasy game gives you pleasure and an out from the real world and you enjoy it. I think you are fooling yourself that hubby will never find out.I would suggest if you want to keep your marriage in tact that you stop the emails because you are risking too much. Also hubby would see it as you are sharing yourself with another man.
I didn't say all that to be hurtful. I was just giving my opinion and in no way am I judging you. Like I said I am far from an angel. I hope you may get some insite and think hard about what you are doing. If it is worth the risk then by all means do what you need to and make yourself happy :)
in this situation i would have to agree.
something is missing, and more than likely its communication.
"i would tell my hubby about this but he gets really jelious when i talk to other guys about anything sexual"
well to answer these questions I do have an attraction to him, well we all play a game together online me my hubby and him and we just started talking to each other and from there just starting giving fantasies ( or cybering that others would call it). look I don't want to hurt my hubby I love him so much but hes just no into anything like that meaning not a lot of verity in the sex area....I think I did this with a close friend is because I know him and do have an attraction to him and he said that he was attracted to
I'm no relationship expert, but it seems as if you are rejecting him emotionally because he's not catering to all your physical needs.
Why cant we tell our spouses,lovers etc these intimate details.Is it a fear of rejection? Or what
Hi male65401:
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