Need Some Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Need Some Advice
11
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 11:48pm
I need some advice: I cannot stop fantasizing about watching my wife have sex with another man. It is the biggest turn on to me. How do I communicate this fantasy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 7:37am

Reality,


I have this fantasy also. I have told my wife.Of course she is not up for it.But she did ask if I had somebody in mind.I said no. But that she could pick out the man to have sex with her. You are not the first man or woman on here to ask this question.Look back through the history of discussions and you will find some info here.


Now are you also talking about a threesome? Or do just want to sit back and watch her have sex with another man?


I think the best time to bring it up is when you are not having sex. Maybe when you are talking about sex sometime.Talk about fantasies.Ask her to go first, maybe she just might say the same thing.This will open the door to communication.


Let me ask you a question. or tow or three. Lets say she goes through with this. What if she enjoys it..too much? What if she wants to do this more often?What if she meets men while you are away at work, on business trips.Or if she meets men over lunch to have sex with at a motel?What if she decides she likes all the flavors there is to offer in men? Food for thought?


But anyway either way good luck.


male65401


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the thingsyou didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines.Sail away from the safe harbor.Catch the trade winds in your
sails.Explore. Dream.Discover" ...



Edited 6/18/2008 7:38 am ET by male65401

resize2.jpg image by Roy5k2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2008
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 7:56am

Reality,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 11:27am

let me just add my .02 cents.

Give me the chance to be the odd man 'in' having sex with someone's wife and I'm give it to her all out. She's going to be sore the next day and you're going to know I'm not taking it easy just so you can watch and enjoy.

My point is this, sometimes our fantasies cloak our own selfish interests. You might want something that you call a fantasy, but in reality, it's just something you want under your conditions. Problem is, those conditions are not realistic. When you really think about what you want, be honest with yourself about the conditions involved. And remember, the other parties have their own selfish interests, too.

I'm not saying anyone should/should not do this, just saying you should realize that you're dealing with human beings, each of whom have their selfish interests. There is no play acting in this sort of scenario. No male I know signs up for this just to please the fantasy of someone, they sign up so they can get laid. If you have no problem with that, go right ahead.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 1:17pm
So I'd AT LEAST ask all the questions suggested above....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 4:30pm
I think that is so great that you're into that. I actually fantasize all the time about having a MFM with my wife and another guy. What is it that you like about it? Maybe I could use your wisdom to inspire my wife.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 6:17pm

Hi and welcome reality. Nice to have you here with us. Will you please fill in your profile so we can know something about you? Thanks a million.


I would suggest you talking to your wife outside the bedroom, not during sex or using as foreplay.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2008
Wed, 06-18-2008 - 8:36pm

Well, after 25 years of marriage we're both at the point where we're open to seeing bringing our fantasies to life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 8:40am
Constructionman, you are 100% right and you make some really good and valid points!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 4:47pm
Your husband is so lucky. I would give anything to be able to watch my wife with another guy. Just out of curiosity, since I will probably not
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2008
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 10:24pm
Thanks for the compliment -- both of us are fortunate to have one another.

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