Neglected Wife

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2012
Neglected Wife
8
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 2:09pm

I have tried and tried and tried to spice up marriage with hubby and to no avail.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 5:13pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 9:46am
Hi Kitten411,

Firstly, welcome to the message boards. Communications is key to any relationship! Speaking freely and openly with your husband is essential. If not, there are a few individuals who are always willing to listen and help advise if possible.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 9:48am

Maybe if you read the story called The Teacher(s) it might give you some ideas. I wrote it in that theme.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 9:49am

In the story section below....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 10:45am

Hi and welcome kitten.

Ok, have you talked to your husband about your desires? Have you done any online searches on being a submissive? Is it something you'd like 24/7 or just in the bedroom? What if your husband isn't into this, would you go elsewhere for it? Leave him?

I'll see if I can get a hold of a submissive to come and give you first-hand experience.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 1:46pm

Hi, Kat, and welcome to the board! This can be a slippery slope when it comes to a partmer who doesn't show an interest in D/s. I've been kinky all my life, but my first marriage was strictly vanilla. I tried for years to get my husband interested in D/s, but nothing worked. We eventually divorced, but it was because of other issues. I decided after my divorce that my next relationship would be a D/s one, and it is, 24/7.

There are a lot of websites on the issue. Either Google "Domination/submission" or "BDSM" and you will get a ton of hits. To warn you, a lot of it is porn, but there are information sites out there. There are websites dedicated to just submissive women.

One thing that you must always keep in mind is that in D/s there must be open and honest communication at all times. So search through online articles (there are also some really good books out there on D/s), find what interests you the most, then show it to your DH and have an open and honest talk with him.

Also, decide for yourself what it is that you want. You can be submissive and not be kinky (I happen to be both, which is what caused such a problem in my first marriage). You don't have to be tied down and whipped in order to be submissive---unless this is what you want. Sometimes all it takes is for your DH to be more Dominant in the bedroom. Decide how Dominant you would like him to be. Then talk to him about it. Are you able to switch roles, even for a teaching/learning session? Maybe take over one night to show him what you want? Be careful with that, though, because it could backfire and he could like it so much that he would want to be the more submissive one.

There is also a lot of erotic stories online that feature D/s. My favorite sites are Pink Flamingo and Literotica. You can find a story that sparks your fire. Read it to him in bed as a part of foreplay. Or write your own for him. Or find some of the porn online (there are a lot of free porn websites) and watch some together.

Are you submissive to him outside of the bedroom? There are D/s people who live what is known as the 1950s household. The man works, the woman stays at home, takes care of the kids, cleans the house, the man is the head of the household and makes the decisions, etc. Their sex may or may not be kinky, but the man is the Dominant one, determining when and where the couple have sex, etc. This may or may not be something that you would want, since I don't know the circumstances involving your marriage.

The key, though, is open communication. There are lots of ways to explore this on your own. There are forums strictly for us who are into D/s. Two that I belong to are the BDSM Library and FetLife. There are other people out there who want to be sub or Dom but their partners have no interest in it, so you are not alone. Forums like these are filled with people who can offer adivce. Just be careful to go to a forum that is more than a pick up place. Don't go to Collar Me or Bondage.com.

If you are kinky, something that you might try is introducing toys, like vibrators, into the bedroom. Or present some silk scarves and ask him to blindfold you or tie your hands behind your back. Sometimes doing things gradually can help.

You also have to be prepared to have your ideas come to naught. Some people just aren't into D/s and nothing you can do is going to make them like it. That's when you have to make hard decisions. Right now, though, you do have a lot of options open to you.

Good luck!


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2012
Mon, 02-06-2012 - 9:46am
OH I READ IT ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 02-06-2012 - 2:08pm

You should also



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006