Number of lovers

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2005
Number of lovers
33
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 5:04pm

A friend of mine once said that if a man wants to know how many men his wife slept with before they met/got together, he should take the number she tells him and multiply it by two.

Conversely, to find out how many women a man has slept with, take the number he claims and divide by two.

How many of you have been totally honest with your SO about how many lovers you have had in your past? If not, then:

1 - How many did you tell them?
2 - What is the real number
3 - Why the difference between the two?

To start things off, my wife was the first one I ever slept with and I told her so (but not until afterwards - Beforehand, I was too embarrassed to admit I was inexperienced.)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 5:43pm

I don't think I ever intentionally lied about how many people I slept with...I think I told my wife 35, but had forgotten about someone, so the real number was 36. Not sure if I felt it was important to go back and say, "oh, honey, I forgot about someone I slept with and didn't have her on my list."

She told me a long time ago...12 I believe...based on all of our stories that we shared, she's never given me any reason to think that she had any more, not that one or two would have mattered.

I learned after my divorce that my ex had, litterally, 10-times the number than what she told me when we were dating. She apparently tried going through an entire university in one semester and had one, sometimes two guys per day in her bed when she was much younger. I'm fine and dandy with a girl exploring and indulging...but that, to me, just seemed...yickie. Apparently, she did also, because she told me she had only been with 20 guys in her life.

Curtis

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 9:19pm

LMAO I told DH five originally. Then fessed up to the actual number. He still teases me about telling him five. Ha. I said five just on a whim fooling around. No real reason.


He however, can't remember all the women he's slept with so how do I divide that by two?


I always heard that you should use THREE actually. ;-)


Jennie

MadsenFallSiggy3.png picture by jenniemadsen1

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 9:20pm

Two per day does seem a little excessive.... what if they were at the same time? Would that be OK? Hehe


Jennie

MadsenFallSiggy3.png picture by jenniemadsen1

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2005
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 9:47pm
No lie, I've only been sexual with 2 men in my life willingly. I was raped at 15, and I prefer not to remember that encounter. But after the last guy I slept with *8 years ago*, I've not slept with anyone since that time. I have guy friends, but I've not been sexual with ANYONE. Sorry. :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 9:54pm

Don't be sorry!!!! There is nothing to be sorry about. You are truthful and selective in the men you are with. Good for you.


Jennie

MadsenFallSiggy3.png picture by jenniemadsen1

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2001
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 10:39pm
If you have to lie, then that's a lousy way to start a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 11:12pm

Well after reading that DP post...I'm as bothered as a baptist in a brothel...I could understand a gal getting addicted to the two-at-once thing...but I don't believe that was the case...though I don't doubt it happened a time or two.

Curtis

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2004
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 12:58am

Here I go...plain boring me...

1 - How many did you tell him? I told my husband that he was the first one...

2 - What is the real number? The real number was 0, I was not lying....

3 - Why the difference between the two? He was the first one...and he absolutely had no doubt of it...

For him it was the same way...there is absolutely no way that he could have lied to me about being more experienced...we were both kind of clumsy...:D

I am happy with that decision...sometimes I wonder how it would be to have more experience, but I'm happy this way...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2004
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 11:37am

I told my DW: three.

The true number was:..... three.

Why the difference. Well there was no difference and no reason to lie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 4:15pm

SO was my first, I told him he was my first. (Though, actually, I had a Lovely *first* experience, no pain, no blood...and he was confused and needed it reaffirmed that he was my first...but oh well. Lucky me for waiting until I was 25. hehe)

Now, SO's number is 33. Not sure what I think of that number, because, other details he's told me in the 7 months we've been together:
He lost his virginity at 13.
He was married at age 28.
He was faithful to his wife.
He was divorced in 2001 (age 33).
He was celibate until he met me (at age 36). (Not even the post-divorce fling or string of ladies I would have expected/accepted)
So, that's 15 years for 31 people (takeing out XW and me.)
Not horrifying by anymeans, but he also claims that none of those were 1 night stands or short-term flings...all were committed relationships, he can name all 33 people (I've never asked him to actually do so.) Two "long term" relationships a year, every year? Harder to believe. I havent been on dates with 33 men in my life, and I cant name them all. :S
Also, he lived with one woman who was bi, and on occasion brought home other women for mutual enjoyment....dunno if those extra's counted in the 33 or not? certainly they dont count as "committed relationships" (no, not the same woman as a 3some partner each time.)

Of course, considering that I was a virgin, I'm not sure why he would have lied to increase the #....33 was scary enough for me! More likely that he decreased the number...a prospect I really dont want to think about!!

Teresa
http://www.affordingpickles.blogspot.com

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