Question mainly for men?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Question mainly for men?
33
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 4:17pm

I am going to ask this since this board is so open and honest. This is mainly for the men but ladies you can reply also.


I will just be blunt and not sugar coat it. For at least 5 years maybe more hubby has had a hard time keeping an errection. He just turned 40 and has a clean bill of health. Years ago I ask him to try viagra, he told me no. So as many of you know I get my needs met by someone else. Also he spends many hours looking at porn. My question is he has stated he wanted to our relationship to be good. Why would he not consider viagra or something like it? Could it be that he is just to use to the porn and pleasuring himself to keep it up for sex with me? I have just given up on having sex with him. At this point I guess I am trying to figure out if it is worth trying to stay with him in a sexless marriage. Of course there are other things that are not working in our marriage I am trying to sort things out to decided if divorce is just the way it will have to end. After being together for 19 years it is hard to end it for good. At this point it is like we are two friends living together and yes he has some good points. So do I settle for a friend as a husband and step out on him when I need my needs met? I dont' know why I ask that last question cause I know no one can answer that.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 4:21am

"and since hubbys apperance has changed quite a bit "


Just curious how his appearance has changed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 4:28am

"I think a normal woman would have just up and left by now."


Oh please do not think you are anything but normal.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 9:19am
Muffy, thank you
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 9:22am

Jim, yes he does relieve himself while watching porn. I don't believe he does it any more than he always has.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 9:29am
Slightlytoxiic, his apperance, well I guess most of it is just nomal aging things, putting on weight, going grey, loosing hair and missing teeth. Gosh that sounds bad does't it. I really don't spend time thinking about his apperance, I try to think about all his good points. Thak you for adding that I am normal and not let it get my self esteem down. It use to really get me down on myself.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 9:30am
Jan, I think alot of what you said took the words right out of my mouth. I agree with alot of it.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 10:54am

"I think a normal woman would have just up and left by now."


ST....I am glad you picked up on that...I was reading the thread and that one line shot me like an arrow.














My Love, My Loyalty and My Friendship is Everlasting...


Mrs P's Blog

Mrs P

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 11:03am

"I think a normal woman would have just up and left by now."


Lori....


You are a normal woman in every sense of the word. You are a living, breathing, loving, sexual woman. That makes you normal.


Your reasons to stay are no ones to judge. I think you will find that most people do a great many things they swear to others they would never do, many things so unlike them, many things others don't understand.


I wish you well Lori. You are travelling a difficult road, one known to lots of people around here. You are in exactly the right place to ask questions, share thoughts and vent.














My Love, My Loyalty and My Friendship is Everlasting...


Mrs P's Blog

Mrs P

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 3:39pm

You're more than welcome, sweet thing.

It's very easy to tell right from wrong.  Wrong is the FUN one.           

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 3:54pm
MrsP your words mean a lot to me thank you
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