submissive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
submissive?
36
Wed, 03-19-2008 - 5:55pm

Ok I know this is the place to ask. I know I have my ideas of what being a collared submissive is but can someone give me more information on this? I was just wondering and I know this board has a ton of information. Please fill me in and thank you ........

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
In reply to: hotallthetime
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 8:16am

As for how it (submission) can be empowering, Lothiriel can also speak to this, but when you're in the middle of a scene, particularly a heavy pain scene, the sensations are almost overpowering


Steve is absolutly correct in his above statement. In this type of situation there is absolutly no place to hide, the exposure and vulnerability you experience is unlike anything that can really be explained with words. Every sense become heightened to a point where (often times) you lose control over every part of your body and you feel your mind could explode at any given second. Your partner will see every part of you, every physical reaction, every emotion, even by just the slightest movement in your face. If your partner knows you well enough, a simple crinkling of your nose can give away your soul. As Steve mentioned the sensations of hevay pain and pleasure do meld into one, and you get to a point where you can no longer tell the difference.

lothmaybe1.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
In reply to: hotallthetime
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 8:51am

Thank you both for inviting me into your world. Explaining so much to me. I had no idea! I know everyone reading these post is asking themselves, why is Hotallthe time asking these questions. Well I started reading a book and was just wondering how this lifestyle works. I figured the best way to understand is to ask people who live it. Is this lifestyle for me, at this point no. I am going threw a lot emotionally and dont' think it would be healthy for me. In the future when I am whole, if I met the right person I might consider it. Like Lothiriel said you have to be in a good place and not enter in unless you are sure you can handle it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
In reply to: hotallthetime
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 12:08pm
Its never a problem to share..in fact I rather like dispelling all the nasty rumors that go around about such relationships. My mother (for instance) doesn't believe it can be what it actually is. She thinks DH abuses me, physically and mentally. Which couldn't be further from the truth. Makes me happy when people like you are truely interested in what its all about.

Lothiriel


prod_659_23106.jpg Submission image by HeatherMichelle1975

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
In reply to: hotallthetime
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 4:21pm

Isn't it interesting how we live with men who are in control of the whips, paddles, floggers, restraints, etc., things that could potentially harm us a great deal (in a bad way), and yet we have never felt safer or more secure? People, like your mother, only think that this relationship is one of abuse. Some of us, like myself, have been abused in vanilla relationships, and the D/s relationship is so completely different from that. I used to live in fear of my ex and with good reason. But I have never been fearful of Master like that. Yes, fear is a part of it, like when you're bound and blindfolded and gagged and don't know what He's planning. But that's a good kind of fear and only heightens the desire and need. Living in fear of your life is a whole other thing and people on the outside can't see the difference between the two.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
In reply to: hotallthetime
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 4:56pm

ok you have me curious.

~ Last year I received a kidney transplant from my older brother from another state. I'm glad and thankful the operation as a success. Just don't tell him that now i have 3!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
In reply to: hotallthetime
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:46pm
Wicked ties. I will have to look up who wrote it, I am just at the begining
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
In reply to: hotallthetime
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 3:25am
More and more books are coming out these days with BDSM elements in them, particularly in erotic romances, though they are showing up in other genres as well, such as in the fantasy genre with the Kushiel's Legacy series by Jacqueline Carey. The book that really got me interested in the lifestyle was the classic Story of O by Pauline Reage. I know that there are people who love the Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rice, but I never cared for them myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
In reply to: hotallthetime
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 5:54am
I wonder for just how many of us the Story of O provided our entrée ino the scene.




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
In reply to: hotallthetime
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 8:05am
You know, I never actually discovered "The Story of O" until a few years back. I'm always reading history books and the like, and romance and erotica were never high on the "to read" list. But a friend of mine stumbled across it, read it, did not care for the content and gave me her copy. It was funny she said "you're the only masochist I know, I thunk you'll ebjoy this" LOL.,...and I did.

Lothiriel


prod_659_23106.jpg Submission image by HeatherMichelle1975

lothmaybe1.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
In reply to: hotallthetime
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 2:49pm
I've wondered that myself, Sir. I can't really say why I don't like the Sleeping Beauty books. To me, it seems like Rice was trying to hard, like she was hitting the reader upside the head with a 2x4 saying, "This is erotica, damnit!" The books were just too much in-your-face for me. I preferred The Story of O because it was more subtle. Sometimes I had to read passages a couple of times before I could figure out exactly what was happening to O, and who was doing what to her. And while I love erotica and erotic romance, sometimes I still prefer O to what's new because it appeals to me as a masochist, while so many of the new books focus solely on bondage. I love bondage too, but I love and need the pain more.