threesome or not - first timers, need advice from experienced ppl

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2014
threesome or not - first timers, need advice from experienced ppl
9
Mon, 04-28-2014 - 9:35am
Help guys, we are a couple him (me) 47 and she 46. We have been married 25 years and even before we got married, we have both got off during sex with her telling me about things she'd done with other guys. This was all made up as she was a virgin when we met, but we both got off on it. 

We always do this when we make out and recently, I said are your gonna do it, she said OK. I asked her if she wanted a lady, she said no, so I asked what kind of guy she wanted and the answer was young and well, big... We made really exciting love, which continued when we woke up and I said again, I was going to make it happen. this just made her more excited and I am now thinking, should we just go for it.

We really love each other.... ned some advice guys. She has only been with me, whilst I had more experience when I was younger
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2013

Just make sure the third party is willing and understands what he is getting into.

Avatar for leather.and.lace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008

A threesome can be tricky, not just physically, but emotionally. When you're in the heat of the moment and all worked up, it's great. But there can and may be emotional side effects afterwards. Even though she's with you during, she may feel as if she cheated. Or you may even feel like she did. Being married for so long, I would seriously really think long and hard about it, and definitely truly communicate about it including the aftermath of it. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004

I find it interesting that you would have a threesome with another guy instead of a girl.  Not judging at all, just that i would like to broach the topic of threesome with my bf but i don't think he'd respond well to another guy.  What are your feelings on another guy touching your woman?  I would think you would need to be mentally prepared for this before really doing this.  My next question is where do you find willing participants for a threesome?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2014

I find the thought of another man touching her highly erotic. We really love each other, so that part for me is fine. And for her. From her point of view, she has only been with me, and there is no question of any if us doing a1 on 1 - we simply won't do anything like this unless we are both there and both up for it at the time.

next question, finding such a younger hung guy. Advice welcome, but I suspect there a websites to suit this need. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2014

Thanks for your reply. dont mean to be nosey, but was this how you felt afterwards? In my own mind, after we send the lover away, I will show her loads of love and affection, I don't want her feeling any of the emotions you describe. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2013

The first big thing is communication outside the bedroom when ALL the heads are thinking correctly[lol] talk about things that are OK to do and not do[Kissing,condoms ect and have a safe word just between you. I have been in threesomes when I was single and my wife and I go to swingers clubs [we don't exchange partners]since we are both too jealious,but we have friends who have no problem sharing their partners..There is [NO] lack of guys,so look on websites there are plenty,also if you live by an adult stores there are still swinger Mags and you could try a swingers club[you don't have to do any thing]they only let in a select few men and most have private rooms if you want privacy and  its a safe enviornment. Tell the guy upfront what is OK and not OK so there is no problem and be ready because some guys change their minds and will not show  ,but it is a great time..

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006

Never done a 3some but have heard stories where it worked out great or it ruined the relationship.

The two of you need to really sit down OUTSIDE of the bedroom and talk about it, and talk about it, and talk more. What about some kind of rules? Like no deep kissing, no intercourse without a condom, no anal, etc, etc, etc. All that needs to be worked out before you even begin to think about trying to find someone.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007

Have you thought about going to a male strip club?  This may just fuel the fire or perhaps satify the fantasy.  With her getting some attention and I assume they do some sort of lap dance, you can get a sense of how you would feel seeing her get sexy with another guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2006
I would suggest you use a stranger and use protection. Can be awkward using a friend.