Want to spice it up...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Want to spice it up...
19
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 2:00pm

I am married for nearly 7 years. been with my hubby as a couple for almost 11 years and have been great friends with him for about 19 or 20 years. We have great sex, most of the time. Since our twin daughters were born it seems he is less interested. Makes me feel unattractive when the commercial on t.v. has his attention and I am laying on the bed ready to go.


I guess what I am getting at is, what can I do to spice things up. He is very old fashioned and doesn't go for porn or anything like that. I could use some perspective on the subject. Maybe it's just a lull in our otherwise perfect marriage.


IDK...

Hope to hear from you soon!


Erin

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2007
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 2:10pm
Hi Ekiss!

sensual Pictures, Images and Photos

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 4:20pm

To add to our 2 little ones, my 17 yr old sister is sleeping in the room next to ours. We have no luck getting babysitters because i guess people are intimmidated by twins. As far as a handjob or bj, I've tried that and he's actually rolled over in the other direction. I have talked to him about it and then things are better for a week or two and then back to the way that they were. I am sure it is something to do with stress.


It could be that I am not interesting to him anymore... Atleast that is how I feel. The love is still there. The sex is great. Earth shattering sometimes. It only happens when he initiates. If I try it is generally a failed attempt.

Hope to hear from you soon!


Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 4:30pm

Are you your sister's guardian?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 5:06pm

Well, My younger brother beat the crap out of her a few months ago. I am not her legal guardian but it is safer for her to live here with me than at my mom's because she works nights and my sister would be alone anyway. I was secretly hoping it would not be a permanent thing but it looks to have become that way.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 5:26pm

What about the 17-year old taking care of the twins at least for a few hours so you and your husband could go off somewhere for a drink or something?


C

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 5:40pm

She is a good aunt, however she is too self absorbed to be watching toddlers.

Hope to hear from you soon!


Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2007
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 6:13pm

Not really knowing you or your husband, I dont really have many more suggestions.

sensual Pictures, Images and Photos

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 6:47pm
Thank you for your input. Sister is working late tonight... Maybe I can set the mood after the little ones are asleep.

Hope to hear from you soon!


Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 10:49am

Hugs to you. It sounds as if you have been through and are going through alot........

Let me add to what others have suggested.

talking to him is very important. But so is getting some quiet time together. It sounds as if you have tried a few things but "crashed and burned". I have had that problem before. I am really good at writing letters. Maybe you can write him a letter and tell him what turns you on about him. Telling him these things might strike a spark. Slip it in his pockets before he leaves for work. Or a bag he might carry. I have even slipped it in his car once. So he could read it on the way to work. Try writing how he turns you on, or how he does his morning routine, one part that really makes you just want him. If he responds to a first letter, offer a little more of what you would like to do for him. Offer up a massage or relaxing time for just the two of you when the kids are asleep. Good luck and check back in with us.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 1:23pm

Hi Erin:


Pages