Want to spice it up...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Want to spice it up...
19
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 2:00pm

I am married for nearly 7 years. been with my hubby as a couple for almost 11 years and have been great friends with him for about 19 or 20 years. We have great sex, most of the time. Since our twin daughters were born it seems he is less interested. Makes me feel unattractive when the commercial on t.v. has his attention and I am laying on the bed ready to go.


I guess what I am getting at is, what can I do to spice things up. He is very old fashioned and doesn't go for porn or anything like that. I could use some perspective on the subject. Maybe it's just a lull in our otherwise perfect marriage.


IDK...

Hope to hear from you soon!


Erin

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 9:57am
Thank you Shanalicachita.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2008
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 2:48pm

Sounds like it's time for you to go into aggressive and seduction mode. Shear and or mesh nightwear might help. If he showers at night,wait until he's in it and join him. Forget the wash cloths and use your fingertips for cleaning and arousing. A couples worst enemy is the TV. Speaking for myself, I always have a blank tape in the recorder ready to go. When the bedroom tv is on and a commercial is on go oral on him. If that doesn't put him in the mood nothing will. You might want to try oral about an hour before he has to get up for work. Around the house wear a blouse low cut or buttoned in the front with 3buttons undone and skirt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 6:03pm
Thanks for the advice. Got anymore?

Hope to hear from you soon!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2008
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 1:06am
So you want more GOODIES ekiss0627 !

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:34am
Been there, done that. Our problem, I think, is just that. I could walk around the house naked all the time, and my dh doesn't even seem to notice anymore. I mean, of course, there are times he definately takes notice. I think that my sex drive is a lot higher than his. We've been in our hous 4 years now and have christened every room. Our daughters' room used to be ours so... Maybe he's overstimulated. Kind of like when you smell the same fragrance for a while. Soon you can't smell it anymore even if it is still there.

Hope to hear from you soon!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2008
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 9:14am
Hi ekiss. How old is he? Does he have any job pressures? Has he become moody or withdrawn? When sexually active is he up to par? Is he on a new medication? There's always a reason for an about face and you are not the reason!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 9:45am

Well, life happens... We have twin daughters that are turning 2 in June. (this has never been an issue) He has always been very good when he wants to. Maybe you could say that the newly wed phase is finally over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2008
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 10:07am

Don't give up on the Aggressive/Seduction thing. If you haven't already done it,try the striptease/dance thing.


Don't develop the mindset that your sexlife dwindles because of years married. I was married for 36 years to my high school sweatheart. In spite of having five children we always made the time. Actually our sex life kept us together five years longer then we should have been. In the end it was just a bandaid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2008
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 10:12am
THanks for the insight. IDK maybe I am reading too mush into it.

Hope to hear from you soon!


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