What has happened to him?
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What has happened to him?
| Sat, 06-07-2008 - 3:36am |
I was involved with a man a number of years ago that I had loved very much
| Sat, 06-07-2008 - 3:36am |
I was involved with a man a number of years ago that I had loved very much
hi....
you didnt mention his
Have you mentioned the changes you have noticed to him?
It would be helpful to know something about your ages and how long since you two had a relationship.
Thanks for your response.
Hi Fairydust,
I just turned 60 yesterday so given our age differences, my perspective may be way off from yours. It just seems to me that if I was genuinely interested in re-kindling a relationship with someone who at one time meant a great deal to me, my opening salvo would not include discussion of 3somes or questions of their sexual experiences since we had parted.
I'm going through a divorce right now and I did approach a women with whom I had a relationship at one time (my marriage had been dead for years, and we had an affair). What I did say to her is that I still had feelings for her and would like to see if we might be able to get back together. I certainly didn't open with how hot she is (and she is) and what kind of sexual frontiers might be fun for us to explore.
Your just ending a marriage and I've got to guess you'll carry some of that baggage for a while. Get that out of your system before you jump into another serious relationship. There also seems to be some geographical distance between the two of you. How much time will you be able to devote to building the type of relationship you seem to want. It doesn't sound like you're looking for simple weekend trysts. Really spend some time remembering why you two parted in the first place. Are those circumstances still present and are they still important?
In your original posting, you just seem to be very uncomfortable with the relationship he wants to establish. Everything you wrote seems to be about sexual issues that make you uncomfortable. Nothing there seemed to indicate he was trying to establish the type of relationship you're looking for.
Unless you can honestly re-write that original post and talk about the things that make you comfortable instead of all the things that make you uncomfortable, I think there is some basic underlying problem that you need to address.
If your instincts tell you this is all wrong, then it probably is.
Before you try to go further with this guy, convince me (a neutral party) or a trusted friend that getting back together with him is the right thing to do.
Be well
"I do have feelings for him but I'm not ready to enter into a relationship with him."
I am glad you found your answer...when in doubt, trust your gut...
I think you've got your answer. Emotionally your not likely to be in a very good place right now. Right now you're working to keep your head and the head(s) of your child(ren) above water. Take care of yourself above all else. That's tough enough. Do you really want to try to play therapist to this guy as well?
Be well
Fairydust seems like a pretty intelligent woman. She would have gotten to the same place on her own. Sometimes it just helps to bounce ideas off someone who can be objective.
In a way, it's like a Robert Redford line from The Horse Whisperer. "Knowing is the easy part, saying it out loud is what's hard."
Be well