Getting off at the next rest stop

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Getting off at the next rest stop
14
Wed, 06-17-2009 - 2:10pm

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Wed, 06-17-2009 - 2:30pm
I, for one, liked that very much. Thank you for sharing.


z146495425-1.jpg picture by nhgal2006



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Wed, 06-17-2009 - 5:26pm

Wow, what a great fantasy story, especially for your first. Nothing to be embarrassed about there, except maybe that you got me seriously aroused here at work without anything I can do about it. ;-)

Can I comment on some of the phrases you used really worked on me?

"my fingers can feel my sex swelling" - the ways a woman's anatomy change as she becomes aroused drives me wild. I love feeling that happen. More subtle than the way we guys work, but no less amazing.

"and parts my legs with his hands." - hmm, in my mind, you open your legs yourself, exposing yourself to him completely, contrasted by the obstructed view he had from his truck. Maybe you even touched yourself while he watched. This is your final, most obscene teasing before he takes control.

"He looks at my sex" - oh yeah, holding that thought.... See what I mean above? You spread your own legs and expose your sex to his eyes. Spread wide, lips and clit swollen, lips parted open, dripping wet for him. You are exposed and vulnerable, but utterly confident that what he sees is driving him wild. That is the woman that every man wants.

"his shaft where my very upper thigh ends and my sex begins" - I LOVE that spot, so important in fantasy stories. I struggle with describing that very special place, well done.

"As he pumps his body into mine..." - nice phrase. I find intensely erotic the whole idea that a woman receives a man into her body. Your desire to have him enter you, to feel that part of his body move inside yours, that gets right to my brain's naughty-center.

"my sex is wrapped around his shaft and won’t let go for anything." - okay, those words will be in my head when I cum tonight.

Whew. Nicely done.
Jake

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 3:29pm

I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for the creative comments.

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Thu, 06-18-2009 - 7:22pm

I'm glad you didn't wait to post your story, even if you are now nuts. ;-)

Interesting that you cannot keep up with your imagination. Writing a story gives me the opportunity to wallow in my imagination, to think through every detail again and again. Often I have to go back and edit out ridiculously long passages where nothing happens that would excite anyone but me, lol.

I did write one story here a long time ago to explore and express my fascination with the female anatomy. It was called "My Spa for Your Kitty". Link is below, I won't bump it but you can if you like it. I wrote it for myself, but I got some wonderful feedback.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlfantasy&msg=1228.1

I really enjoyed the feedback I got, especially knowing what phrases I used that set someone off. So I always try to respond with that kind of feedback to others (as in, "I didn't know literary criticism could make my panties moist..." - Yowza, girl!).

I have written other stories but they were either too personal or too explicit to post here.

Keep up the good work. If you need an editor or just some naughty feedback, I'm usually lurking here. Or some inspiration: technical writer huh? Your assignment is to write the user's guide for your vibrator. ;-)

Jake

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 11:15am

I like my assignment, I can give it a shot!

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 12:24pm

No, I don't share those stories with anyone I know. I've posted a few outside iVillage, I don't discuss that here. And they are too explicit for the wife -- she doesn't like that, only romance for her.

Jake

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Sat, 06-20-2009 - 8:41pm

Ivy I very much liked your story and am so glad you posted it here!


You mapped out the progression from vehicle to sex beautifully. It is a challenge to keep a story moving along with some of the TOS limitations. I look at that more as a challenge of talent. You skirted TOS perfectly and kept your story from sounding repetitive at the same time. Bravo.


What strikes me about a writer's work is it's ability to play in my head again after I have finished reading. Yours has done that. As I sit here and write I can "see" the man opening the rear hatch of the SUV, unbuckling his pants and pushing the woman's legs apart. Your words painted the picture nicely.


You did a fine job and I hope you continue to write and post here!

glamour-photography1-1.jpg picture by mrspe2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Sat, 06-20-2009 - 8:49pm

Hi Jake !!!!!!

glamour-photography1-1.jpg picture by mrspe2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
Mon, 06-22-2009 - 2:40pm

Thank you very much Mrs.P!

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Mon, 06-22-2009 - 3:33pm
Oops, I posted this right back to Steamy Stories instead of the Writer's Workshop. I guess I am not understanding what the Writer's Workshop is supposed to be, despite your several posts attempting to explain it. Sorry.

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