1st date over. No contact yet. Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2006
1st date over. No contact yet. Question
5
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 11:20am

Hey All,
I had an OK time with him on our first date, but I did keep the conversation going and liked his wit. It was fun, it was nice. He was talking too. When we came back to my apartment complex, he said he would like to chat some more and parked his car, and we again had a good time talking and listening to his collection of music. It clearly sent the signal that he liked me. It was me who initiated the bye....and then he asked if I'd like him to walk me to my door. I said I'll be fine, thanks, and we said our bye's.

So now it has been 1 full week, and he hasn't contacted me at all.

What's going on in his mind?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 12:42pm

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about what's going on in his mind. If a date hasn't contacted you within

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2005
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 12:52pm

well a week is sort of a long time to have him not contact you since the date...it's possible he could still contact you, but I wouldnt get your hopes up too much

He may have been insulted or thought you werent interested when you said no to him walking you to the door. Who knows...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2006
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 4:04pm

Ya, I was just curious. My best bet is he is waiting for me to take the initiative, to test how interested I am? Afterall, he clearly did show his interest and now he feels it's my turn. He does not wanna face rejection. That's what I feel. You think my line of thought holds some weight?

I am not waiting for him to contact me becoz I like him so much. I am waiting coz I am curious what's going on in his mind and wanted to hear other opinions as an interesting discussion. We had a good time, but, I just feel neutral about him.

He is smart, witty, humorous, speaks really well, was allright to me lookswise etc etc but I didn't *sense* anything special anyway. But I sure was my best friendly and polite self. Oh, and one more thing: I insisted we split the bill. I just didn't wanna make it seem like I am getting a free meal out of him. Plus, the dinner was my idea. He was mentioning coffee, but I was really hungry so I said we should meet over a meal.

He seemed pleasantly surprised when I decided to split the bill. But who knows, it's a paradox. Guys like a woman to not take advantage, but at the same time they might feel let down if the girl pays for her own.
*shrugs*.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 6:40pm

Your thoughts hold weight because they're your thoughts. I used to have similar ones too. Now I'm not one for playing games, I'll call a guy first, etc. But I do believe that if the guy is interested, he will be the one pursuing you. I'm a bit old school that way. And what I've learned over the last few months is that my new theory holds true. I can't tell you how many guys I've met recently and when they're interested, they're interested. They call, ask for dates, will ask again if I'm busy... After our first date if they're still interested, they're still asking.


So yes, your thoughts of course hold weight. However in my experience the actions or lack therof that he's displaying is saying that he's just not that interested. Now, I will place one caveat in there. If you gave him no (and I mean NO) indication of the fact that you too were interested when you were on the date, that would change my answer. But I think you did. It's possible that he was out for one thing and when you didn't let him get to your door, he lost interest.


But I still hold to the belief that if he were really interested, he'd call. I'm sorry about that...


Kerry

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2006
Sat, 07-15-2006 - 9:04pm

Hi bklynchik. No sweat. I am not interested in him anyway. It was a good, fun friendly meeting but I didn't feel anything else. It was he who insisted on chatting some more even after we got back from dinner, and it was he who didn't say bye until I took the initiative. So that's why I was just curious to know what's going on up there in his mind. I just wanted to come by here to hear opinions. I am sure it wasn't becoz I refused to have him walk me to my door. He just asked out of concern since it was late night, and since my place was only a few steps away, I didn't wanna trouble him. Never once did I feel he wanted something "more". I think he does seem like the guy who might play mind games, and that's the reason I have this strong doubt that he hasn't contacted becoz he wanted to first see if I am interested and if I take the initiative to contact him. I will write him a courtesy hi email and ask him why he is being so silent and see what he says. It doesnt make sense for either of us to disappear into thin air without saying a word.