2 years, STILL think about Ex. help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
2 years, STILL think about Ex. help!
1
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:07pm
i dated someone on and off for over 6 years. he was my best friend in the whole world, we sort of grew up together (19-28 yr) ---knew each other for 10 basically. two years ago, he bailed, and left me in a really cold and hurtful way. still to this day i cant believe how he changed, his behavior and what he did. Its taken me TWO YEARS to get over this. I FINALLY feel ok. have gone through the healing process best i can.

Ive now been dating a truely great guy for the past three months. he is open, caring, sweet, funny, etc. and really wants a serious, healthy relationsip with me. Im happy, i do like him and want to continue being with him but-----

i still think of my ex a lot. i still have this small pt of me that believes we are meant to be and hell come back--as stupid and unrealistic as this sounds, i cant get that last hope out of me. in reality i know hes an unhappy and unhealhy person and isnt good for me anymore and that ive grown matured changed and deserve much better

i feel so guilty for having thoughts of him and missing him. i always wonder if he regrets, thinks of me, misses me, etc. WHY? why cant i get him out of my head for good? why cant i keep going and not look back, especially after how he acted/treated me

its also affecting me opening up to new guy. i have this emotional wall up still because of what i went though. i feel its never going to change and im cursed!

how do i get my ex OUT of my head for good? i KNOW it takes time, but im sick of wasting time on him. ive already wasted two years and i want to be with the guy im with now. im close to 30 years old now.

any advice???

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 3:03pm
If I'm remembering correctly, it's actually been a relatively short time since you last had contact with your ex (much less than two years), correct? The time it takes to get over someone doesn't really start until your last contact, and a 6 year LTR is going to take a few years to get over. So you may simply be expecting too much too soon.

As for the new guy and the wall you've built, I think counseling would be a good idea so that you maximize the chances of succeeding in this r'ship.

Sheri