22 and NEVER dated
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22 and NEVER dated
| Wed, 09-27-2006 - 11:47pm |
Hi everyone! I'm looking for some honest advice here. I'm starting to get down on myself because I am 22 and have never had a boyfriend, or done any dating for that matter. I am really ready to start start dating and meeting guys. The problem is, I just don't know where to meet them! I am in a graduate school program that is all female and all of my close friends are also female. I don't have a lot of time for activites outside of school, but the few I am involved in are not places I would meet men. The other complication is that I am about 20 pounds overweight, and while I do still feel I am attractive, I am pretty self-conscious about my body. That makes it even harder for me to be bold when it comes to dating. So now that you have a summary of my situation, does anyone have any suggestions? By the way, I'm not interested in online dating at all. I would really love to hear anything and everything about where to meet guys, how to approach them, etc. etc.
Thanks!
Thanks!

My suggestion is to try some new hobbies where the men might be. Join some clubs or organizations that are filled with men...biking, running, bowling, NASCAR, hunting, rock climbing, join a gym.
If your weight bothers you, time to lose a few pounds. You approach men like you would anyone else, start a conversation about a common interest, they will be more than happy to talk to you.
Hi! I just wanted to drop you a quick note of encouragement. Although I didn't have trouble meeting men (i played sports, liked sports, etc), I never had a boyfriend until this may. And I am 26!
My best piece of advice is: fake it til you make it. Guys love confident gals, gals who are happy with themselves and who like themselves, regardless of what they look like. What I like to do is throw my shoulders back and pretend I'm angelina jolie and think I'm hot, you know it and I know it, so there. even though what I'm really feeling is far from that.
Second, practice. You said you haven't had much interaction with men (all female school, all female friends). Men are everywhere! Regardless if you think the guy is attractive, look them in the eye, smile and listen to what they say or say hello yourself. If you can't talk to guys you don't want to get to know better, how can you talk to ones you actually like? (I had this problem too)
Also, buy a dart board and practice playing darts.
Fourth, find a good wingwomen who also wants to meet guys and who you feel comfortable with. Have her practice darts too. Get pretty proficient.
Then, go to a sports bar. Doesn't matter if you don't know anything about sports. There are guys and dart boards. You can always play darts with your friend there. Smile, laugh when you miss. Chances are two guys will ask you to play against them at some point. Relax have fun! Also, you don't have to go at night - go during the day on sunday during football season and avoid the crazy drunks. Guys just go to hang out, watch the game and eat wings.
When you see the hottest guy at a bar don't fawn over him. Look to his wingmen, they tend to be the better men.
Good places to meet guys: bookstores, grocery stores, sport bars, through friends (or friends brothers), auto shops
good pick up lines: bookstore: oh, i've read that its good!, grocery store: have you tried this before, do you know where ___ is? auto shop: I'm not sure what the best product is..., etc. The absolute best and most successful in my mind is eye contact, smile, and say hi.
Also, if someone doesn't seem responsive, just move on. It's their loss and it has nothing to do with what you look like or what you said (99%). Just smile, keep on walking and look for the next candidate. Practice Practice Practice!
Men are everywhere, just gotta practice til you are comfortable w/ them. Remember, dating is supposed to be fun!! Enjoy!