2nd attempt call - she answered!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
2nd attempt call - she answered!
9
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 11:36pm
So i called her a 2nd time just a while ago, and we chatted for about 5 minutes. She was shopping and she beat me to the punch. She mentioned that her and her x are having problems and that she is not ready to date. So thats cool, i understand that. I didnt mention anything about my 1st call to her, but she brought up the fact that her cell is all messed up and she's changing over service. She says she was happy that i called her and that it was nice to hear from me. She said that she will call me in the near future and that she has my number on her cell. I was going to ask her out, but i know the problems about x's and she was with him for a little over a year. She stated he got into drugs, alcohol and is a loser, but why is she still having problems unless he's stalking her. They use to live together and she's having problems with her and not ready to date. She sound thrilled to answer my call. I doubt she'll call me in the future like she said, cuz i aint gonna call her anymore

So i guess i got my answer and im gonna get other girls numbers. Dam my friend was right!!!!! He stated to call her a 2nd time and i did with success

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 12:21am
right on bro!

Dont call her anymore and i bet yo azz SHE WILL CALL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She interested in you that's why she answered your call. She got your message the first time with your name and numbe, so she already knows your number.

Women will ALWAYS screen the mans first call________ALWAYS

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 1:09am
Well I'm glad you at least got more of a positive result this time. I think she'll give you a call...it just may not be in a hurry, considering all the stuff she's going through. Meanwhile, yeah keep looking elsewhere.

As for dj's comment to you about girls not answering the first phone call...OMG, I can't believe it, but I did that last night and I gotta tell you I felt BAAAAAAD doing it!!! The scenario is that I've emailed on and off with this guy for a few months, maybe once or twice a month, but nothing in particular coz I met my bf. Anyway, my bf got told unceremoniously to take a hike on Monday and this guy emailed me again so I said to call. However, when he called, I was just sooo not in the frame of mind to talk, so I let it go to my machine. I composed myself and called him back ten minutes later and we had a good conversation.

I've never done that before. Guess I just needed to call on my own terms, if that makes sense, considering my own recent personal events.

He said he'd call back in three days! LOL

If you like her, be patient. But still keep your options open.

Eve

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 1:32am
Huh?

You told your bf to take a hike a few days ago and your already jumping to talk to another guy so fast? Wouldnt that be considered unhealthy? Kinda like my situation. I want her to get over her x before going out with her, but i will wait for her call and that will tell me. Mean time, im looking elsewhere. I cant stay focused on this one girl.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 1:38am
I don't think she is interested even she answered your call. I think she either put you as the backup plan or she is not interested at all. I installed the phone numbers that the guys I am not interested because I will know it is them when they ring me. I might be wrong. Just give you different thought. I think you should look for someone else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 1:48am
Oh no way!! I already told him that he's very definitely only in the 'friendship zone'. I sooo am not ready to deal with the emotional turmoil of letting someone get close again just yet.

What happened was when I met my bf, I emailed the guys I was talking to from the dating site and said that I'd met someone, but would they like to remain friends. Some said yes, some said no. I kept in touch just by email with a couple who said they'd be happy to be just friends. Others, I'd already met and we were cool to remain friends also. This guy is just one who I haven't met yet, but who wants to catch up for coffee - hence the 3 day thing. Up till now, I've put that off, because I think he's a bit too keen. However, I reiterated on the phone that it's totally only a friends thing and he agreed to that, so we shall see...

So no, definitely not getting involved with someone else just yet! Yikes! LOL

But I still need to be social. Can't sit at home being miserable forever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 2:12am
So your telling me that you would give your "actual true real phone #" to any guy that ask for it? I only want a womens # if i feel that spark and i find her sexy. I assume she found me attractive to why she put her # in my cell, and basically had her arm against mine, touching me the whole time, placing her hand on my chest? Unless she does this to every guy? From what i observe, women only do it to guys they find sexy etc. If your not attracted to him, why not just tell him NO or give him the wrong #? Why give him your real #? So he can keep calling you, while you screen all his calls? That sounds selfish to me, like getting your ego stroked? Im confused
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 2:17am
But what if your out being social and you meet this guy who gives you a great 1st impression? The sexual vibe and sparks were all there on the table. He exceeds your physical standards, and has his life put together, his head on on straight, career driven etc...... What do you do then? Would you give him your # if he asked for it? If you decided to give him your #, and he called to ask you out, what would you say or do???

People shouldnt date right after a relationship again, because all the drama will carry on to the next, because there was no healing period. No time to think things out and learn from your mistakes. That leads to more unhealthy relationships and that person never knows what they want and are so confused
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 2:35am
Are you talking right now or in general? Either way, I'm not out to just find a relationship or just find friends. I'll give a guy my number if I think he's a nice person and think we'll get on - whether it be just friends or more. I've only ever once given a guy in a club my number. Honestly, other than that time, nobody's ever asked me for my number. But I did give him my real number. That's the one and only time I've given a guy I didn't know my number - and he turned out to be a dodo - so I can see why women give false numbers.

Other than that, it usually doesn't take me long to decide whether I feel ok about giving out my number. This guy who rang me yesterday, I've talked to him for about 4 months now, so it's not like he's a complete stranger and I probably should have given him my number a long time ago - then again, he could have given me his too.

And to be honest, I really don't have a problem with giving people my number. It's not listed, so they can't get my address, and if they do become a problem over the phone, well I can get them blocked. I don't really see why people freak out about giving out numbers, but like I said, only one 'stranger' has ever asked me for mine.

Until now, I've never dated. I got into my first LTR when I was 16 and got out of my last one at 30, so this whole dating business new to me.

As for the scenario you described, I'd definitely do coffee with the guy. I'd leave him with no misconceptions about what I wanted at the time and no preconceived ideas about having a relationship if I was not ready, but it certainly wouldn't stop me meeting up with the guy if I didn't want a relationship. No harm in making a new friend.

Make more sense now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 08-19-2004 - 8:40am
Ooohhh...Ive been following this story.
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