2years2many?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
2years2many?
5
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 1:17pm
My boyfriend and I have been seeing eachother for a little over a year now. Things are currently wonderful after having some very rocky times in June and July where we almost broke up over some issues but we overcame them and have been seriously involved since then. Last week he went to visit him family back east and said he had been doing some serious thinking. In result he said he had good news. To make a long story short his good news was that we are getting married in two years. I said that was great and asked why two years and he said that was the time he gave himself. I asked if we could get engaged and he said NO. He said he didn't want to do that, that wasn't him, he just wants to get married. What is his deal? Why dosen't he want to officially get engaged and why did he pick two years? Am I reading too much into it or is he just playing withmy head. Any advice please. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: icgreen2
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 1:58pm
icgreen2...

The explanation is simple.

Within 2 years, if your b/f gets tired of you...he can easily "cancel you out of his life!" If you feel you need an engagement ring and/or some sort of public notification about your exclusivity together...TELL HIM!

But be prepared for an argument!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
In reply to: icgreen2
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 2:46pm
Thanks pianoguy. Maybe I should just be happy his mind is even in the vicinity of the right direction but what I don't get is, why even say anything then. A man has to know that women want to flaunt an engagement ring. So is it like an unspoken engagement?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: icgreen2
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 3:28pm
icgreen2...

Pianoguy thinks if you're "wearing the ring that he gave you" (assuming he has) on the 3rd finger of the left hand...most people don't need a brass trumpet section to blow out:

"WE'RE ENGAGED!"

Small caution...you've only been together for 1 year...correct? If a 2nd year goes by, and there's NO RING on your left finger...you might want to bring up the issue of a wedding date? You might not receive a specific answer...but after 2 years of being in a happy, honest relationship with a wonderful lady (like yourself)...most men are usually going to "put up, shut up or 'exit...stage left'!" .

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
In reply to: icgreen2
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 4:40pm
I love you pianoguy (not literally of course...lol). Why haven't you written a book? Your posts are always on point.

Unfortunately there is no ring. When I asked if we could get engaged that is what I was hinting at....getting a rock. He has hinted at having a ring for me before but I have yet to see it and therefore have paid no attention to his hints until now. Are you married or in a relationship? If so would you say or have made a statement like that f you didn't mean it? Assuming you are a straight forward guy who dosen't lead people on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: icgreen2
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 4:07pm
icgreen2...

You caught Pianoguy in a "blush" this afternoon!!! Hopefully, the 'crimson color' that's illuminating my face will fade before 6pm? That's when the music starts at the restaurant where I perform.

Perhaps when I return from my vacation, there will be an offer to write an advice column, host a radio talk show...or do both? Thanks for your very kind thoughts about the posts I leave at ivillage. Let's talk about that piece of metal for your left 3rd finger, ok?

It's just a guess, but if your b/f is hinting about a ring...this MIGHT be YOUR "Christmas Present?" The holiday season is when many of us love to spoil the women we're crazy about (and vice versa)! So even though I can't confirm your b/f's actions or intentions...keep your eyes open for a tiny little box tucked away in one of the tree branches or perhaps inside the Chanaukah bush? It's the 'season for miracles', right?

To answer your question, I'm not married nor do I have a g/f at the present time. Even though the healing process from my 2nd marriage is completely finished, I guess there's still a little vulnerability present? My heart often skips a beat when I see a beautiful lady in the supermarket, at Walmart, or another public place...but...there's still some apprehension at times when it comes to saying the word: "HELLO!" As I've indicated in my profile, I still would like to meet and link up with the right lady one of these days! !

Here's something for a few iviillagers to think about it....especially if there's no s.o. in your life at the moment.

For many singles like myself, the holidays can be brutal! I think it's because we envy the couples who are together because they REALLY WANT TO BE....not because they HAVE to be! There's definitely a difference in attitude between the first and the second. If there's such a thing as a "personality glow"---the first type of couple radiates it. The second does not.

Maybe this is the reason why some of us want the holidays to last forever...and others just want them to disappear as soon as possible?

Here's hoping your holidays will last indefinitely, icgreen! :)

Pianoguy