3 sates and nothing

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
3 sates and nothing
17
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 3:22pm
I just read first date non-jitters and became compelled to ask for advice on this one. I, like her, met a guy online and met him almost a month ago. We have gone out three times and he still hasn't tried to kiss me or even hold my hand. I made him touch me last night just to see if he would! We email and IM back and forth all day and he calls some evenings. Last night he even sat at the library and studied for 3 hours while I had class so we could go to dinner. He even got me a small birthday gift. So clearly he seems into me. The emails and IM's have that whole flirting and bantering thing going on as does our conversations...but what is his deal? I do like him but that fact that he has not kissed me seems odd. It stresses me out so much becuase it hasn't happened. I am the opposite of non jitters though - I feel like I am going to puke all over him. Super attractive huh? Well, what do you guys think? One of my friends is convinced he's gay, the other he's married, another says he's not married otherwise he'd be all over me, and finally one thinks he really likes me and is making sure that things are not going to fast as to make me uncomfortable. Love any advice!

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Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 1:17pm
hmmm...I dont know....I went on 3 dates with a guy before he kissed me but I had been at his house, had his number, so I knew it wasnt a 3rd party issue. Turns out in his case, he had an issue of impotency (which I eventually in our relationship cured...heh) and that had something to do with the hesitation. Do you talk to him at night or just during the day? Are you dates on weekend evenings?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 1:18pm
It wouldn't hurt to ask him for his home phone number. If he balks, you should be suspicious. But maybe he just doesn't use it much. Wouldn't hurt to find out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 1:35pm
Actually, I am suppose to go to his house this weekend so I am thinking that it is not a third party issue. I talk to him all the time so there seems to be no basis for that thought. He calls whenever and we email all the time or IM. Our dates have been Fridays and a Tuesday but this weekend I am going to his place on Sat. nite. So I have no idea. It is just odd.

I am actually talking w/ another guy as well - kind of feeling guilty about this cause I like 3 date guy but the differnces between the two of them are huge. I feel like I am getting to know them both but w/ 3 date guy I really don't know about any past relationships or where he stands on a lot of issues but the other guy i know tons about. The other guy has asked to get together - which is fine and I think it is no big deal since as far as I can tell 3 date guy and I are just pals at this point.

This has never happened to me so I am clueless. I hate dating!! ;)

Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 1:43pm
Its a total hassle isnt it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 1:45pm


Maybe he senses this and is suspicious of getting burned or just thinks something's not right. I've been in similar situations a number of time long ago and passed things up. Maybe I missed out, but my instincts were almost always right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 1:49pm
It does! I have not thought about dating someone for a really long time because of this!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 4:11pm

Have you talked about past relationships? Perhaps

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