3rd date blow off....now what?
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| Sun, 05-28-2006 - 10:20am |
I am so beside myself I had to post and glad I found this forum. In a nutshell...went on 2 wonderful dates with a 39 yr old man who seemd like the first "normal guy" I've been with. Well respected by everyone. It was a blind date set up by by a mutual friend.
Synopsis:
First date...Instant attraction...he was "smitten". Had a great night and he called and/or text me daily for a week afterwords trying to set up another date. I have a very busy schedule. FYI...I never called him, he was the one initiating everything and I played the "busy bee" which I am. After our forst date, He was even calling me late night when I went out w/ friends.
Second date (week later)...came to my house, watched a movie...fooled around a tiny bit...very passionate and hot...but no sex. He called me when he got home to say he had a wonderful time tonight, will call me the next day before he leaves for Arizona. He never called.
He left for AZ 2 days later for business...I did not hear from him all that week (went from every day talking down to zero).
He texted me on Tuesday "Got home last night...what are your plans this week?" I text him back..."give me a call!" He called the next night,2x and I didn't answer, he didn't leave a message. He text me a minute later "Tried calling you, where are you?" I tect him back saying "Call again" So he called again... we had great conversation, asking me what my plans are for the week and he would like to take me out again. "Since you are a busy girl you tell me when you are free...my schedule is wide open" Told him I had plans on Thurs/Fri but can see him Saturday.
We agreed on Saturday (last night)
Never heard from him. He never called. I texted him at 5:30 yesterday "When and where do you want to meet?" Nada...nothing. Sunday morning and no word.
He is really into Text Messaging (I'm not) so if he was going to blow me off why wouldnt he just text the cowardly way and say "can't make it tonight" I heard NOTHING from him.
What do I do now? Let him explain when/if he calls? Then what? Do I totally blow him off and move on? My friends who know him say this is not his nature. I'm blown away by what happened, I could have made other plans and he knows it.
I have not been playing Miss. Available so I know its not the chase issue. Do I act mad, aloof or do I give a second chance?
Is this common?

Edited 5/28/2006 11:33 am ET by luky4elle
Hi Luky...
I didn't answer the phone when he called twice because I was in the bathtub. When I got out of the tub, I text him saying "I'm here.." (didn't tell him I was in the tub!)
I am not playing games...I keep myself very busy. This is my life.
He is the one who slowed down with contact after our second date (which was great BTW).
I always call him back and/or answer his phone calls or texts. I am respectful when it comes to that.
If he calls today to apologize profusely AND he has a good reason for not contacting you (and it would pretty much have to be that he was in a coma!), then you might consider giving him a 2nd chance. Otherwise, I'd write him off.
If he does call and doesn't apologize or whatever, I wouldn't act mad or aloof, I'd just say calmly "I'm sorry, I don't think this is going to work out, take care". He knows what he did, he doesn't need you to explain why.
Sheri
Thanks Sheri...
My friends who know him say that
a. he's not a player and well respected by all
b. this seems out of character for him
So the excuse better be good. He is the one who called me to plan it 3 days in advance!
Yes you don't want to be overly available in the beginning but you don't want to get into the whole game playing maze. Just learn from this as we hopefully learn from all our experiences and apply it to the next guy, who might be the real deal for you.